I'm sitting here on a lazy Sunday afternoon, enjoying my afternoon snack (Nutrisystem almond biscotti and a cup of coffee), while watching What I Hate About Me on the Style Network. The show has an interesting concept. They ask a woman to list 10 things she hates about herself and then they enlist 10 different experts to help her address each one. While I can't afford the expert advice, and even though I kind of feel that listing things you hate about yourself is a bit of a negative exercise, I thought I'd jot down my own "10 things" list here to serve as a jumping off point to begin thinking about ways I can change them.
1. I hate that I gained more than 150 pounds without caring enough about myself to notice.
2. I hate that even though I'm losing weight I've most likely caused permanent damage to my skin as a result of having gained so much weight.
3. I hate the deep crease in the middle of my forehead.
4. I hate that I've been progressively losing my hair since my mid 20s.
5. I hate that my head is too big to fit off-the-rack sunglasses and hats.
6. I hate the fact that I've never held a single job for more than about a year and a half.
7. I hate that I can't seem to meld all of my career interests into one long-term steady way to support myself.
8. I hate the fact that realizing the dream I've held the longest - that of living and studying in Paris - eludes me.
9. I hate that I've never really felt close to my own family.
10. I hate that I'm so afraid that to be diagnosed with a deadly brain tumor (or something worse) that I put off going to the doctor for regular checkups.
Okay, that wasn't so painful. But I guess that's because I don't think anyone will ever be reading this. It's nice to put these things out there, though, and now I can start to work on some of them as I continue on with my weight loss journey.