Wednesday, August 11, 2010

No longer being chased for a fat physique

Believe it or not, I never got more attention from guys than when I was super fat, topping 400 pounds. I got a lot of attention from guys who are part of the so-called "chub-chaser" community. Once I reached 300 pounds, I was considered a "chub", and I began to be chased after by lots of good looking fit guys - fittingly called chasers - who happen to have a fetish for the obese. Well, that's no longer the case.

I never understood this chubby chaser fetish, but I certainly benefited from it in some ways. I used to be able to go to the local chub-chaser night here in Fort Lauderdale and command stares from all corners of the bar. I had my pick of hot guys. On the other hand, the attention proved detrimental, too. I think because I felt so embraced and attractive as I put on weight I subconsciously gained. And as I gained, so did the quantity of attention and admiration I received from these guys.

I always felt strange about accepting the attention and often couldn't even be with a guy if I got the feeling he was only into me because of my belly. It's weird to be adored as a fetish. I think now I can understand how a huge-breasted woman must feel when everyone wants her for her figure rather than her brain.

These "chasers" never really wanted to get to know me, but they sure were interested in getting with me. Those who achieved their goal were happy with their conquest and moved on soon after they'd caught me, on to the next victim of their vacuous never-ending chase. So while their attention made me feel good in a way - who doesn't like to feel attractive to someone they find equally attractive - it often left me feeling empty inside because I knew it was just an illusion.

The problem is, now that I've lost so much weight, I'm still sort of part of this community by default and still circulate within it to some degree. Most of my friends are either chubs or chasers. But I'm really neither, I suppose, and I'm no longer getting the same attention from chasers that I used to. In fact, I've recently been told by more than one person who I once considered a friend or potential suitor that my weight loss has made me look "disgusting". And at least one friend who is considered a "super chub" because he's over 400 pounds like I was has told me he can no longer be around me because I'm so obsessed about my transformation.

It hurts when these things happen. And going from appealing to appalling in a few short months is truly upsetting, regardless of the circumstances. I suppose I just need to find myself a new crowd.

Right now I'm trying to just lay low until I get a little more in shape. I'm thinking that as I drop weight I might start to become attractive to people based on a blend of my looks (as they are) and my personality (such as it is).

In that case I better start to work on the personality part. I think I've sort of let that go since I was able to fall back on the allure of my fat physique for so long. Oh well! What's a boy to do?

1 comment:

  1. Very nice, Brian! Thanks for pointing me to your blog. Keep up the good work. As promised, here is what I do every morning. It has made me lose 20 lbs the past year and shrink down my body fat from 20% to 12.5%.

    My green smoothies really vary but here is the general idea:

    - 2-3 small/medium carrots (I peel them and chop them into chunks before sticking them in the blender)
    - about 1/3 large cucumber (peeled, cut into chunks)
    - a heaping handful of spinach (..probably more like 2 handfuls)
    - a heaping handful of either: kale, turnip greens or collards
    - several springs of either: curly parsley, Italian parsley or cilantro (..I generally don't care for its minty flavor)
    - a few slices of yellow or sweet onion, or you can use a small chunk of garlic (but go EASY on the garlic)
    - a heaping handful of a lettuce mix (Dole provides a wide variety). I look for a mix that doesn't contain iceberg (not nutritional) or spinach (I add spinach in separately. If I go only with one lettuce it is usually romaine).
    - one celery stalk
    - I usually add something extra like: the contents of one green tea bag, cabbage, or some powdered stuff (probiotics, wheatgrass, psyllium husks)
    - a cup of water
    - and, of course, fruits to make it all palatable. For anyone starting off I definitely suggest banana because it helps with the consistency of the smoothie. I also recommend pineapples, melons and/or berries (any kind). Frozen fruits are okay but make sure there aren't added preservatives. The idea is to sweeten the mixture but only enough to make it taste slightly sweet.

    The end result is about one quart/liter. It takes me 30-60 minutes to drink it; it digests fairly quickly. You might experience intestinal gas in the beginning, .. perhaps because your body is adjusting to all the fiber? But this fades over time.

    I hope this helps. See you at the gym!