Not letting negative "scripts" undermine success

By Brian Schwarz

We all have them - random thoughts that come to mind in our worst moments. We wake up in the morning feeling like we should have worked out a bit harder or eaten better the day before. Our mind starts to generate scripts (usually from our past) to tell us how worthless we are, how we'll never amount to anything, and that we should just give up.

Tell me this doesn't ever happen to you and I'll call you a liar! The scripts may be different for you, but surely negativity comes to mind in even the most optimistic person. The difference between an optimist and a pessimist is the ability to turn those negative scripts around. The answer is to not ignore the script, which may be the first instinct. Rather, I find it's best to recognize the negative script for what it is, consider its source, and turn it into something useful.

Ever since I was a teenager, I have worked hard to get rid of the negative scripts that were part of my subconscious. I won't even waste space on them here on my blog because they're gone and I have no use for them anymore. Still, new negative scripts arise from time to time in the most unexpected places. Ironically, they pop up in my mind not when things are going bad, but when things are going well.

Even in success, beware of negative scripts!

In 2010, I was in the midst of major success, having lost more than 150 pounds on my way to overcoming obesity once and for all. When I was just 20 pounds to my goal, I would look at my pictures and say to myself, "you look too thin...your head is too big for your body", or "no matter how much weight you lose you will never look as good as someone who hadn't gained weight in the first place".

Because of these new negative scripts, which came when I was at the height of my success, I remember deciding to stop losing weight when I was just 20 pounds from my goal. I went into maintenance mode, and gained about 20 more pounds so I would feel "more like myself", and I kept the rest of the weight off for five years.

After my mom died, the negative scripts turned darker. While I never thought about taking my own life, I was constantly thinking that life wasn't worth living without my mother being in it. As a result, I ate my way into oblivion. Sure, I didn't take a gun to my temple or leap from a bridge, but in my own way I was killing myself, slowly, but surely.

Now that I'm back at my conscious efforts to eat healthy and get my weight in check, I still have to deflect negative thoughts every step of the way. I get angry at myself for having done this to myself - again! I recognize that even if I do everything perfectly, I'm looking at a good 18 months to two years before I'm back down to a weight that's anywhere near my goal. It feels overwhelming. My mind tells me "You can do it!" and "Just give up!" almost in the same instant.

Loving yourself unconditionally at any size is key to keeping a positive mindset

Well, I'm not going to give in to the negative scripts. Every time I look in the mirror I tell myself that I'm worth it. That I deserve to be comfortable in my own skin. That I deserve to be healthy. That I deserve to be loved. Even if it seems silly at times, it helps me stay strong by leaving little room for the negative scripts to work their way in. And even though I know I will still be challenged from time to time with thoughts that undermine my success, I'm aware of my own strength to achieve my goals if I only take one step at a time and continue to be kind to myself in both my actions AND my thoughts.