Tuesday, December 23, 2008

How did I get here?

Right now, millions of overweight Americans are asking themselves, "how did I get here?" And I am one of them. "Here" is that place and time beyond comprehension, that moment you realize your weight has reached some abstract number you never imagined it could reach.

When I recently tipped the scale at just over 400 pounds, I knew I had arrived at that dreaded place, and I couldn't believe it. The last time I was really checked in to my weight I was inching upwards of 290 pounds. I didn't really worry, though, because I truly felt I would never again top my previous high weight of 310 pounds, which I had reached ten years ago. After hitting 310, I was able to get back down to 220 by giving up meats and cheeses and walking, biking or rollerblading everywhere I went. And after reaching my goal, I swore I would never go back to that unhealthy max again. But somehow, here I am, not at 310, but getting damn close to reaching 410 if I don't make some drastic changes.

I never even imagined what enormous amount of food I'd have be eating to reach 400 pounds. And somehow I never really thought of myself as fat, even though my family and friends never failed to remind me. I don't think I eat like a total pig. Sure, I enjoy sweets and fatty foods like everybody else, but I eat those things in some sort of moderation...don't I?

Well no, I don't. I have to admit that I do binge on those comfort foods every once in a while. And if I'm going to make a positive change in my life and start to get my weight under control, I'm going to have to drop the denial game once and for all. In fact, I'm going to have start looking at myself and my lifestyle in a 360 degree mirror - you know, the kind Stacy and Clinton use on that show "What Not to Wear". I'm going to have to just suck it up and admit that I'm here because of the decisions I make each and every day. I'm here because of what I eat, and because of when I eat, and even because of where I eat. I'm here because I've slowly, almost methodically, adopted a sedentary lifestyle by trading in my rollerblades and mountain bike for a DVR and an all-in-one remote control. And I'm here because up until now, I just haven't really cared.

That brings me to the point of this new blog. I believe I am finally starting to care again. I'm tired being fat and feeling there is nothing I can ever do about it. I know, like I've always known, that I am the only one who has the power to make a difference in my life, and I'm committed now to making one.

This blog will chronicle my progress as I attempt to make healthy choices and recessutate my formerly healthy lifestyle. My goal is a big one. I want to lose 180 pounds - that's the weight of an average adult male - and get back down to about 220 pounds. Oh, and did I mention I want to do it naturally, though diet and exercise, and not the lazy way, through some sort of unatural stomach-altering surgery.

So far, I've bought a mountain bike, and am starting to ride it daily to prepare to begin commuting to and from the train station starting in the new year. I've bought a couple of cook books with healthy recipes, and I've started cooking for myself six days a week and eating out one, instead of the other way around. I've also ordered a scale that I can use to weigh myself at home, so I can track my progress, which I'll be sharing here online with you.

Please feel free to comment on my blog if you have any tips, or would like to encourage me on my journey. I expect it will take me about two years to get me down to my goal weight.

Thanks for reading!

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