I spent $402 on a box of Optavia

I spent $402 on a box of Optavia that will last for 30 days, and I’m beginning to have buyer’s remorse. I’m sure when I follow the plan for 30 days I will indeed lose weight - maybe even a pound a day. But the cost seems to be more expensive than I’d first perceived, especially considering this price buys just one third of my daily calories. The rest I have to add in myself.

Here’s the breakdown. For $402, I am receiving 22 boxes with seven "fuelings" in each box, for a total of 154 fuelings. Each fueling has about 110 calories and is to be consumed at a rate of five per day spaced out between two and three hours apart. I'll still have to grocery shop to prepare an additional 1,300 calories of "lean and green" meals and snacks.

Optavia works for tons of people, but cost is a huge factor.

This initial package apparently includes five free boxes, or 35 additional fuelings. To continue the program into a second 30 days, I would have to buy the total of 22 boxes monthly. Since each box costs about $21, my next order would cost approximately $60 more. And then, of course, there’s the cost of shipping, which brings the cost for a 30-day supply of fuelings to around $500.

Given the convenience factor, I get that the food might be a bit more expensive. But I can save hundreds of dollars and still be successful in my weight loss by sourcing on-the-go bars and shakes elsewhere and prepping all meals and snacks on my own.

Regardless of my methods, it’s all up to me to make the right choices in my life. Knowing this going in, I’m going to make the most of this Optavia trial to kick start and hone my portion control and meal prep skills. It’s an expensive kick in the pants. But it's just the kick in the pants I need right now.

Unlike trails I hike, my fit life journey's map is but outlined in my dreams

Yesterday, as I was transferring files from one computer to another, I spent about seven hours going through old photos and videos recounting my fit life journey. I hadn't looked at many of these in a few years, and I was a bit shocked at what I looked like when I was at my low weight of 255 pounds.

Before my fit life journey began at 420+ pounds, August 2009

After 18 months and 165-pound weight loss, at 255 pounds

I looked like a different person! The round face and body curves were all but gone. And even more, when I watched myself talk in vlogs (that were never posted) I remembered instantly what I was thinking and feeling (and not saying) in them. I was saying these happy things with my mouth, but as I would catch a glimpse of myself on the screen while recording a sort of sad wash would come over my demeanor, if only for a moment, as I realized I really wasn't connecting with the image my thinner self was projecting.

After nearly 165 pounds of weight loss, with mom and dad, August 2011

Healthy. Hopeful. But lost.

When I gained back 65 of the 165 pounds I'd fought so hard to lose, I once again recognized myself. And while I found comfort in this familiarity, the joy I'd felt when I was becoming that healthy and hopeful self faded as my round face and curvy body returned.

Over the past two years since the re-gain, I've struggled to get started with a new round of weight loss. I want to get down to 255 pounds again - and in fact I want to achieve my original goal of getting down to 225 pounds to completely overcome obesity once and for all - and I know how to do it. Getting started I can do. But sticking to a new regime for more than a month is proving incredibly difficult.

Tomorrow is my 44th birthday, and birthdays for me are always a good time to become motivated to make change. So here it is again. I'm setting a goal for myself to lose 65 pounds over the course of the next year. When I turn 45 I will celebrate my accomplishment. And when I am 50 I will celebrate five years of having kept the weight off.

To get started, I need to put a framework to my goals, reasons why accomplishing this weight loss is important to me. So here goes, these are the 10 things I want to result from losing weight and regaining the fitness I'd fought so hard to achieve a few years ago:

1. I want to extend my probable years of mobility and stave off preventable disease by being kinder to my body.
2. I want to wear clothes again - regular sized clothes, like XL, not 2XL or 3XL - without feeling like I'm pushing their limits.
3. I want to go to the waterpark and not be turned away from the best waterslides because of my weight.
4. I want to feel light on my feet and reduce the strain on my ankles, knees and hips.
5. I want to be able to hike the highest mountains without having to slow down just to catch my breath.
6. I want to ride my bike for miles and miles.
7. I want to kayak without fear.
8. I want to speed through the forest canopy on zip-lines with my friends.
9. I want to be healthy and capable for my parents as they grow older
10. I want to live a life that is not obsessed with filling my body but instead one that is happy because I'm fueling it.

Unlike the trails I hike, my fit life journey's map is but outlined in my dreams

Self image is a powerful contributor to motivation for anyone, and for me especially I think. Honestly, I don't like the way I look when I get under about 280 pounds. But I need to do it for reasons that transcend self image. Just as before, I will be blogging about my journey. I do this not only as a journal to myself so that I can keep track of my progress but also because I find I am energized spurred on toward my goals by the collective support weight loss and fit life community. This is crucial. As such, I want to thank any of you in advance for reading and encouraging me along the way. THANK YOU!!! 

NOTE: Hey #fitfam! Please follow me on Instagram @fitlifechronicles and Twitter @myfitlife2day. 

10 Things I Don’t Miss About Being Super Obese

This blog post is not pretty. In fact, it’s pretty blunt. As a disclaimer, you may not want to continue reading if you can’t handle the truth. I’m writing this primarily for me – to remember - because “those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” But I’m also writing it for anyone out there right now, reading this, who may be struggling with super obesity, so you can know that you CAN do it. You CAN overcome super obesity and live the life you deserve!

So without further ado, here they are: The 10 Things I Don’t Miss About Being Super Obese:

Before "Life Guy Brian", at 420 lbs

1. Skin tags on my neck and underarms 
2. Having a successful job interview on the phone turn into a nightmare when interviewed face-to-face 
3. Not being able to walk more than a quarter mile without having to sit down 
4. Being afraid to fly because I barely fit, needed a seat belt extension and was concerned I was squishing other passengers
5. Having to use baby wipes instead of toilet paper 
6. Having to use special tools and maneuvers in the shower to ensure my cleanliness 
7. Not being able to pick things up off the floor and feeling compelled to ask people to get things for me because the effort to do even little tasks was taxing 
8. Spending most of my spending money on cheap, fatty foods and sugary beverages 
9. Having to shop for clothes in specialty stores; Not being able to shop for bargains or at thrift stores 
10. Being sought after by “chubby chasers” instead of being pursued by someone who loves me for me

I could go on, but this is all the remembering I can handle right now. It’s tough looking back! But what’s tougher is thinking about all the people out there right now still in it, facing the same struggles I once did. I want to reach out to each and every one of you, give you a big hug and tell you that it can get better. You can lose weight and start living a healthy life.

In the words of the incredible, inspirational Tony Robbins, “It’s your decisions, not the conditions of your life that determine your destiny.” Think of it this way: The list above is nothing but conditions. But it was my decisions – to begin eating clean and getting progressively intensive regular exercise – that ultimately changed my life and led me to lose 165 pounds.

If that sounds simplistic, it’s because it really is that simple.

Contact me in the comment section below if you'd like to talk, or follow me, Life Guy Brian, on Twitter @MyFitLife2Day for daily motivation and inspiration. I look forward to hearing from you!

Overcoming food addiction is my ongoing battle

Last week, I gave a motivation talk at the Desert Sunrise Speakers Toastmasters Club in Palm Desert, CA. In the speech, I come clean about experiencing hopelessness over a terrible addiction to sugary and fatty foods. I have learned to control this addiction through positive psychology, but every now and then, I must admit, the addiction rears its ugly head. I have decided today that I want to share a bit more of my story of addiction and ongoing recovery here on my blog, because I know that if I keep this very intimate struggle a secret and continue to play the role of the infinitely strong, optimistic and powerful one who rides life's ups while being unphased by life's downs, I am doing a disservice not only to myself but ultimately to my readers.

This summer, the addiction hit me full force as I was contemplating my recent career move to Southern California, which I realized then would ultimately have me leaving my partner behind for a time in Albuquerque as he completes his nutrition degree there. I've been doing great since the move, having lost 17 pounds in just one month through mindful eating and engaging in regular aerobic exercise and strength training. But tonight, it happened again, and I just ate more than 700 calories after dinner as my emotions caught up with me.

I have been feeling emotionally week for the past couple of days, as I am coping with news that my mother has just begun battling lung cancer all while I'm experiencing the ongoing difficulty of maintaining a long-distance relationship and seeking more fulfilling and financially stable employment. So tonight, even after eating a home-cooked dinner of hardy and delicious squash and eggplant stew over quinoa, I felt my emotional hunger kick in. I scavenged the house for sweets and took two heaping scoops of leftover cake frosting my housemate had left in the fridge. Then I set out for some frozen yogurt. And after that I ate two Reese's cups and some Starburst candies.

It is absolutely horrifying for me to be telling you this. But I am coming clean. This is something I do. I do it when I am feeling weak. And I do it out of view of anyone who knows me. In fact, I do it in stages so even strangers only see me enjoying a small sweet treat. No one sees the binge that takes place over the course of an hour or so and at several different stops along the way.

Okay, so there it is. I'm absolutely sweating as I sit here in my room, alone, in front of my computer about to hit the "publish" button on this post. But here goes nothing! And just so you know...I'm okay. This actually feels good to be putting it out there. I will follow up tomorrow with another post on my progress, and I will talk more about dealing with my addiction to sugary and fatty foods over the course of the coming months as I continue to battle obesity.

Well, I'm heading out to swim some laps right now. It's been about an hour since eating and I think my stomach is settled enough for me to get some exercise in the pool. I know it won't take away what I just did, but it will certainly make me sleep better. And it will re-set my mind so I can wake up tomorrow morning refreshed, not feeling guilty about the binge but ready to start anew as I continue on with my fit life journey.

As always, thanks for reading! If you don't already, follow me on Twitter @myfitlife2day. Also, check out my YouTube videos, starting with this one of my recent speech to local Toastmasters called "Hike Your Way to Health!"

Decisions, choices and the lifelong journey of change

People are always impressed when I tell I have lost more than 150 pounds to overcome super obesity. I'm proud of what I have accomplished. The funny thing is, though, I always feel like I'm taking credit for something that's not that big of a deal. My story really boils down to this: a decision, fueled by choices, which are mere elements of my lifelong journey of change.

Losing the weight wasn't actually as hard as you may think. It's certainly not as hard as I thought it would be before I finally made the decision to get my weight in check. Overcoming super obesity, for me, was just a series of good choices. The hard part actually was deciding to start making them in the first place.


A journey of 1,000 miles begins with (the decision to take) a single step!

I think the mistake a lot of folks make when then try to lose weight is they focus only on those choices - the day to day of what to eat and what not to eat, which activity burns more calories, who to share my successes with because they will support me and who to refrain from talking to about my weight loss because it might breed envy and jealousy, or simply make them feel bad. But what about the decision?

The decision to lose weight is the absolute most important factor in permanent weight loss. It is not a matter of what choices you make along the way, because none of us is perfect, and we will each make a series of good choices and bad ones every day of our lives. If we focus on the choices we will celebrate good ones and beat ourselves up for bad ones. When we focus on the decision, however, we are able to see our choices as a complex tapestry and we can focus on the bigger picture - why we are choosing to lose weight in the first place.

This question of "why" is at the root of the decision. The choices I make along the way - the question of "how" - will work themselves out as I remain focused on my lifelong journey of change and as I move forward, resolving those "why" questions that made my decision finally click in the first place.

What was behind my decision to lose weight? Part of the answer can be found here, on a post called My Weight Loss Motivation from January 2010. In that post I talk about the things I want to do and be and a bit of my purpose. But the real "why" is that I wanted to begin treating myself - my body and my mind - with the respect I deserve. Before I made the decision I had tried unsuccessfully to lose weight and keep it off many times before. I finally realized that these failed attempts at weight loss were the result of me focusing on my choices and not on my decision.

When I wake up every morning, the first thing I do is remind myself of why I'm on this fit life journey. In other words, I am mindful of my journey. I give it the respect it deserves so I am sure to give myself the respect I deserve. This mindfulness ensures I will make choices that fuel my decision.

It's really that simple. Even so, I do want to thank you so much for your encouragement, and please continue to be thoroughly impressed by the fact that I have lost more than 150 pounds. But please, also, save some of that enthusiasm for later, when I have reached my weight loss goal of overcoming obesity once and for all.

PS - As of today, I have lost 10 pounds in the past two weeks. Current weight - 276. I have 21 pounds to lose to reach my low weight mark from June of last year (2011) and a total of 49 pounds to go until I am no longer considered obese. Thanks so much for reading and sharing my story with others on your social networks, Your participation inspires me! MyFitLife2Day is on Facebook. And please, follow me on Twitter @MyFitLife2Day.

Globesity: global health epidemic or cash cow?

Those of us with a soul look at worldwide obesity trends with sadness; something is severely wrong and must be fixed. To some, though, the obesity epidemic is a chance to cash in. In case you're wondering where the money to be made is, check out this article on Foreign Policy's blog, Passport. According to the experts, there are a number of ways that investors can take advantage of the "globesity" trend. 

Obesity in Mexico is out of control - Is it genetics?

In case you haven't heard, Mexico recently beat out the U.S. as the top ranked country for obesity worldwide. Well, researchers are pointing to a unique genetic predisposition among indigenous and mestizo populations in Mexico. It's sure to be controversial. Read about it on the blog LatAm News Translations.

I'll be posting soon on a trend in Mexico to publicly fund bariatric surgery clinics in Mexico to combat the obesity epidemic. It seems to me that there are better ways to treat obesity with public funding, but I'm not Mexican so it's not my place to judge. But I will be translating an article on the subject very soon, so check it out here, or "like" LatAm News Translations on Facebook to get it when it's hot off the presses!

Flying at 420 Pounds

Just heard today that AirTran will join Southwest and begin charging extra for over sized passengers. The news dug up a lot of previously buried sentiment from me, and I'm sure it will do the same in many others, given that more than 20 percent of the population is now considered obese.

I used to be what you'd call super obese, and I remember flying at 420 pounds. I took American Airlines to Mexico in 2008. I sat next to a friend -  a big guy in his own right - who squished in the middle. And I used a seat belt extender; I'd snagged one of those model seat belts flight attendants use in their safety presentation that barely assisted in spanning my 64 inch middle section (I couldn't really call it a wast at that time, now could I?).

I was anxious and worried they'd kick me off the plane, and I tried my darnedest to keep my arm from blocking the bathroom traffic and service activity along the aisle for the entire trip to Mexico City. By the time I was on the puddle-jumper flight to Acapulco, I just let it all hang out, because once in Mexico, I was seen more as a curiosity I suppose and treated quite well by the single attendant on that final brief leg to the West Coast.

It was a horrifying experience, looking back. But at the time I let my joviality and apologies pave the way to not being treated too badly, though I know my form was inconveniencing to others in such a confined space as a jam-packed international flight.

I still have that extender. I kept it as a sort of souvenir from the old days, to remind myself of those feelings I'd buried even then so I can use my desire to avoid those feelings again as incentive to stay on my path of health, fitness and mental well-being.

Phase 3 in full effect - Rugby anyone?

Phase 3 of my fitness plan is in full effect. For those of you who've read my blog since the beginning you may recall that I began Phase 1 of my fitness plan more than two years ago. Phase 1 was all about nutrition. After realizing on my 37th birthday in 2008 that I was tipping the scales at nearly 420 pounds, I decided I had to do something about my weight. It was then that I decided to move to New Mexico to be closer to my grandma Fay, and I started this blog in December of that year as I began planning out strategies for for what I knew would be a long and challenging process.

My first attempts at changing my diet got stalled (notice I didn't say I failed, because that experience was an integral part of this whole still-ongoing process), and I finally got the jump start I needed when I ordered Nutrisystem in January of 2010. I shed more than 70 pounds fairly quickly, and in May of 2010 I was ready to start Phase 2 - exercise.

I started walking about a half-mile a day and joined a gym to began resistance training. I committed to one hour at the gym five days-a-week, and it stuck. I continued losing about 10 pounds a month (sometimes more, sometimes less), and have continued with the gym until today, just more than a year later. I'm still committed to the same amount of time at the gym, though my workouts have become increasingly more intense.

Now, though, I'm looking for something more. I'm ready to begin Phase 3 - sport. I have been considering some of the different sports offered at local gyms - boxing, capoeira, krav maga, etc. But I just can't afford to pay as much as they're asking for something I'm not even sure that I'd like. Plus, I'm more interested in a team sport.

Well, as I look to move to Boston this August, I have been doing some research online about team sports for adults in the Boston area. And I found that there is a competitive rugby team called the Boston Ironsides that accepts and trains new members - even if you have no rugby-playing experience. So I'm going to give it a try. I think.

What do you think? I haven't played competitive sports since high school. And admittedly I don't enjoy dirt and mud and sweat, all key components of rugby. But I do want to challenge myself and take my fitness to a whole new level. I think this is the way to do it! Excited. Nervous. Doubtful. Hopeful. I'm feeling a range of emotions. But most of all, just happy that I am at the point in my life now where I can actually consider this as an option, whereas before it would have seemed like little more than a pipe dream.

:-)

Motivating others to overcome obesity?

I've been asked to talk to a fairly large group of college students on my personal struggles with overcoming obesity. It's my first of what I hope will be many gigs as a motivational speaker.

Description: Why is weight loss such an elusive mystery? We all know the formula – diet and exercise are the key to achieving a healthy weight and maintaining a fit physique. But with so many options for weight loss available today – from fad diets, diet pills and fat-fighting injections to bariatric surgery and an array of so-called non-invasive outpatient procedures – it’s nearly impossible to know where to start.

Well, what if the answer to the question weren’t “out there”, but rather “in here”, inside your own heart and your own mind? Truth is, you may never lose weight unless you first decide that you’re going to do it, and then believe that it’s possible.

Are you obese, or just overweight? Perhaps you know someone who is. Then this workshop is for you. Come hear the story of one obese man who is currently in the midst of the fight of his life – to recover from obesity by losing nearly half of his body weight, about 200 pounds, simply to be classed as “overweight”. You’ll learn how achieving your weight-loss goals might just come down to one snap decision.

Are you obese? Calculate your BMI

Obesity is all around us, but most of us don't really know what obesity is. We see people all the time who we know are overweight, but we're cautious to refer to them as obese. That word's just got too heavy of a connotation (excuse the pun).

Well, according to the National Heart Lung and Blood Institute, part of the National Institutes of Health, obesity refers to having a BMI (Body Mass Index) greater than 30. Overweight is between 25 to 29.9 BMI. And Normal Weight is 18.5 to 24.9 BMI.

My current BMI is 37.6 - well into the obese range. But when I started this transformation, my BMI was somewhere around 56. So I feel good about my progress, but even as people are starting to call me "skinny" (yes, I know they're being nice), I still have a lot of work to do to simply become "overweight".

To calculate your BMI, you can use the National Heart Lung and Blood Institute's BMI calculator here: http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi/.

I'm trying to get on the Dr. Oz show

I've just submitted a request to be on the Dr. Oz show. I don't know if they'll even read the submission, but I hope they do. I'd love to share my story with people so they can see that real people can change their destiny without weight-loss surgery or crazy diet schemes.

Here's what I submitted:

When I hit 420 pounds I couldn't believe it. How had this happened to me? Well, that's a long story, but not so different from so many others who learn to cope with life's challenges by eating. I had an addiction - eating out, appetizers and full meals all day long, and then candy, sodas, pizza and Chinese-food delivery late at night. I wasn't exercising. And I was in a relationship with someone who liked me with my full figure. He would do anything for me. Pick things up off the floor because I couldn't reach. Outfit the bathroom with special tools so I could fit more comfortably. Help me out financially so I could afford the cost of gaining weight. In general, I was living my life without any self respect. And my weight was getting out of control. I felt my next step would've been becoming bed-ridden, or death.

I decided about a year ago to do something about it. Dr. Oz inspired me in many ways. In January, I decided to start one of those prepackaged diet programs to jump start my weight loss - I didn't know anything about portion control and had no idea how many calories I was eating or how many I should be eating. I was scared I wouldn't be able to manage my hunger. And I was too fat to exercise.

I watched Dr. Oz around the same week that I started the new diet regimen and I saw a show that had to do with truckers and their diet and how long it took food to process through their bodies. This helped me visualize food as a fuel and not as something to do just to pass the time. I began to see rapid results. I did the diet program for two months but soon transitioned to doing my own routine based on a variety of factors. I read lots of books. Started going to the gym. Found friends who supported my weight loss. This has been a struggle believe it or not because I had found myself rooted in the enabling chubby-chaser community over the past decade of my weight gain and I think many of these friends see my weight-loss as a slap in the face.

I have since lost 125 pounds and am still on track to lose 70 more. Currently I weigh in at 293 and people say I look 10 years younger. I certainly feel it! I'm proud of my success and would like to share my story with others. SURGERY IS NOT NECESSARY!!!!! I want to thank Dr. Oz, too, because he inspires me so much with his straightforward advice. I am an community education teacher and program coordinator in Miami and am creating a new class for intermediate English learners who work in health-related fields called Intermediate English for Health, Fitness and Nutrition. As part of the class I will have my students read Dr. Oz’s book You: An Owner's Manual. I want to inspire people who work in the field of nutrition and health.

Well, that's about it. If you want to see more of my story, check out my blog at www.fitness400.blogspot.com. Pictures are available there, too, but as a disclaimer I am not giving you rights to publish any content or photos on the blog, but I don’t mind my blog address being shared. I'm also working on writing a book, although I don't know what form it will take. I just want to help others know that they can do this and that it's all up to them. We all have the power to change our own destinies.

Subconsciously slipping into super obesity

As I lose weight and approach the 300 pound mark, I’m reminded of the fact that I’ve never been cognizant of the approach to 300 pounds (or 400 pounds for that matter) while gaining. I first topped 300 in my mid-20s. Things were tough for me as I struggled to define myself as an adult. I dropped out school the summer Jerry Garcia died on my birthday in 1995 - when I weighed somewhere in the high 200s - and by the time I bothered to weigh myself in January of 1996 I weighed 310 pounds.

By the coming summer I’d lost nearly 70 pounds. I'm glad that I caught myself before doing more damage than I did. But concerned that my weight gain was caused by the problems that were all around me, I packed my lingering discontent in the trunk of my 1989 Ford Taurus and hit the road.

I was on a mission to change my life. And when my car broke down in South Florida I decided there was no better place for me to make my change. It was in South Beach that I began exercising as part of my lifestyle, walking as a primary means of transportation and Rollerblading to and from work. I taught myself Spanish during my initial eight-month stint here, returned to school to finish my degree, and quickly as I could I returned to Miami to begin my career as a journalist.

As I advanced in my career, I shifted focus from fitness to finances, and pounds started to creep back on slowly. I never bothered to step on a scale as I ate my way through Latin America. And then by the time 9/11 stopped me in my tracks I was well on my way to ballooning past 300 once again.

In 2004, I finally weighed myself once again. 330. I almost died. For the second time in my life, I never saw that coming.

I began to work out for about a month, but when a budding relationship started to sour I once again sought food as my refuge and turned a blind eye to my exponentially expanding body. And so I lost track of time as well as pounds for another few years.

In 2008, though, I found myself curious about my weight once again after looking at a picture someone had taken of me at an unflattering angle. I tried to weigh myself on that friend’s scale, but, to my horror, I was too fat. So I went to the doctor for a checkup, and even his scale only went to 350, which I easily exceeded. So, one day, while on my way to visit my Dad to celebrate my 36th birthday, I slipped a quarter into the slot of one of those novelty scales you find in the bathroom of rest stops along the interstate. The scale read 417 pounds.

Oh my friggin’ god! You’ve got to be kidding! It’s one thing to not notice when I topped 300, I thought, but how could I not realize I’d surpassed 400 pounds? People are shocked to this day when I tell them with all honesty – I simply did not notice that 100-plus-pound weight gain. In my eyes, I looked the same at 417 as I did at 290.

I was on my way to meet family members to celebrate my birthday on the day of the 417-pound weigh-in, and we took a photo together, which will forever be my reminder of how bad things got. I look at that picture every day now to keep things in perspective. And as I’m going down, reaching that 300 mark once again, you better believe that I’m going to notice – my eyes are fixed on reality for the first time in more than a decade. And I pray they will stay this way.

Before at 417 and now at 378

The picture above is me at my heaviest - 417 pounds in the summer of 2008. I first started to work on my weight in January of 2009 and lost 30 pounds, getting down to 387 pounds before gaining 15 back by the end of the year. The picture below represents me at my current weight, 378 (well, actually this pic shows me a few days ago at 380). I still have a long way to go, but as the picture shows, I'm well on my way!

How did I get here?

Right now, millions of overweight Americans are asking themselves, "how did I get here?" And I am one of them. "Here" is that place and time beyond comprehension, that moment you realize your weight has reached some abstract number you never imagined it could reach.

When I recently tipped the scale at just over 400 pounds, I knew I had arrived at that dreaded place, and I couldn't believe it. The last time I was really checked in to my weight I was inching upwards of 290 pounds. I didn't really worry, though, because I truly felt I would never again top my previous high weight of 310 pounds, which I had reached ten years ago. After hitting 310, I was able to get back down to 220 by giving up meats and cheeses and walking, biking or rollerblading everywhere I went. And after reaching my goal, I swore I would never go back to that unhealthy max again. But somehow, here I am, not at 310, but getting damn close to reaching 410 if I don't make some drastic changes.

I never even imagined what enormous amount of food I'd have be eating to reach 400 pounds. And somehow I never really thought of myself as fat, even though my family and friends never failed to remind me. I don't think I eat like a total pig. Sure, I enjoy sweets and fatty foods like everybody else, but I eat those things in some sort of moderation...don't I?

Well no, I don't. I have to admit that I do binge on those comfort foods every once in a while. And if I'm going to make a positive change in my life and start to get my weight under control, I'm going to have to drop the denial game once and for all. In fact, I'm going to have start looking at myself and my lifestyle in a 360 degree mirror - you know, the kind Stacy and Clinton use on that show "What Not to Wear". I'm going to have to just suck it up and admit that I'm here because of the decisions I make each and every day. I'm here because of what I eat, and because of when I eat, and even because of where I eat. I'm here because I've slowly, almost methodically, adopted a sedentary lifestyle by trading in my rollerblades and mountain bike for a DVR and an all-in-one remote control. And I'm here because up until now, I just haven't really cared.

That brings me to the point of this new blog. I believe I am finally starting to care again. I'm tired being fat and feeling there is nothing I can ever do about it. I know, like I've always known, that I am the only one who has the power to make a difference in my life, and I'm committed now to making one.

This blog will chronicle my progress as I attempt to make healthy choices and recessutate my formerly healthy lifestyle. My goal is a big one. I want to lose 180 pounds - that's the weight of an average adult male - and get back down to about 220 pounds. Oh, and did I mention I want to do it naturally, though diet and exercise, and not the lazy way, through some sort of unatural stomach-altering surgery.

So far, I've bought a mountain bike, and am starting to ride it daily to prepare to begin commuting to and from the train station starting in the new year. I've bought a couple of cook books with healthy recipes, and I've started cooking for myself six days a week and eating out one, instead of the other way around. I've also ordered a scale that I can use to weigh myself at home, so I can track my progress, which I'll be sharing here online with you.

Please feel free to comment on my blog if you have any tips, or would like to encourage me on my journey. I expect it will take me about two years to get me down to my goal weight.

Thanks for reading!