Before at 417 and now at 378

The picture above is me at my heaviest - 417 pounds in the summer of 2008. I first started to work on my weight in January of 2009 and lost 30 pounds, getting down to 387 pounds before gaining 15 back by the end of the year. The picture below represents me at my current weight, 378 (well, actually this pic shows me a few days ago at 380). I still have a long way to go, but as the picture shows, I'm well on my way!

Feeling good as I go into week 4

Today was my third weigh-in, and while I only lost four pounds in the past week I'm not discouraged because I'm losing the weight at a healthy pace. And there are other measures to this diet than just the weight. I'm noticing my clothes are fitting better (except for my jeans, which I can't seem to keep up!), and I'm feeling a lot better, less winded when doing regular daily tasks.

In fact, this morning in the shower I noticed how much easier it was to twist to wash my back and bend (without having to hold on to the wall) to wash my feet. And while I used to take breaks between vacuuming and washing dishes or cleaning the bathroom and doing laundry, now I just go from one task to the next and get things done in half the time.

This week my goal is to increase my exercise. I plan from this point forward is to get at least 20 minutes of exercise four times per week. And by exercise, I don't mean walking the dogs...I mean biking or working out at the gym. Plus, I plan on adding more lifestyle exercise into the mix.

I've taken a part time job waiting tables, which is something that made me sweat in my 20s. So I expect this to really heighten the effects of my healthier diet. I just hope I can manage to organize the regular eating times required by the Nutrisystem diet around my new working schedule. And of course serving all of that tempting food is going to be a bit of a challenge.

What I hate about me

I'm sitting here on a lazy Sunday afternoon, enjoying my afternoon snack (Nutrisystem almond biscotti and a cup of coffee), while watching What I Hate About Me on the Style Network. The show has an interesting concept. They ask a woman to list 10 things she hates about herself and then they enlist 10 different experts to help her address each one. While I can't afford the expert advice, and even though I kind of feel that listing things you hate about yourself is a bit of a negative exercise, I thought I'd jot down my own "10 things" list here to serve as a jumping off point to begin thinking about ways I can change them.

1. I hate that I gained more than 150 pounds without caring enough about myself to notice.
2. I hate that even though I'm losing weight I've most likely caused permanent damage to my skin as a result of having gained so much weight.
3. I hate the deep crease in the middle of my forehead.
4. I hate that I've been progressively losing my hair since my mid 20s.
5. I hate that my head is too big to fit off-the-rack sunglasses and hats.
6. I hate the fact that I've never held a single job for more than about a year and a half.
7. I hate that I can't seem to meld all of my career interests into one long-term steady way to support myself.
8. I hate the fact that realizing the dream I've held the longest - that of living and studying in Paris - eludes me.
9. I hate that I've never really felt close to my own family.
10. I hate that I'm so afraid that to be diagnosed with a deadly brain tumor (or something worse) that I put off going to the doctor for regular checkups.

Okay, that wasn't so painful. But I guess that's because I don't think anyone will ever be reading this. It's nice to put these things out there, though, and now I can start to work on some of them as I continue on with my weight loss journey.

20 pounds and counting

Today marks the end of my second week on Nutrisystem. I didn't lose as much as my first week, but I'm happy to report that I've lost a full 20 pounds!

To be honest, I'm shocked at how easy it has been to stay on this diet. It's pretty simple to follow, just eat one of their pre-packaged items and then eat tons of vegetables and a few fruits throughout the day. I think what makes it easy for me is that they also provide three snack options a day, one in the morning, one in the afternoon and one in the evening.

The morning snack is a dairy/protein, like yogurt, cottage cheese or an egg. And the afternoon and evening snacks are pre-packaged and are either sweet or salty. Sweet options include stuff like a fudge brownie, chocolate cake or a cookie, and salty options are things like pretzels, herb flavored snack mix or soy crisps. This makes me happy!

BUT, and yes, there's a but, I'm a bit annoyed that during week one I lost almost double what I lost week two. Friends and fellow dieters are telling me I should shock my system with a cheat day, but that seems counterproductive to me. The Nutrisystem people say I just need to stick to it, and that slower weight loss is healthier weight loss. Tell that to the contestants on the Biggest Loser!

Okay, that wasn't a fair shot, because honestly I'm not putting in the effort to exercise the way those people do. Maybe that's what I should focus on this week, not giving in to a cheat day but kicking it up a notch and focusing on fitness. This is the dilemma I'm weighing right now, at 4 p.m. on a Friday. The cheating is tempting...wonder what I'll do.

Week 1 Weigh In - lost 13.4 pounds

I'm feeling pretty good today. I've lost nearly 14 pounds during my first week (weighed in at 388.6 pounds), but I know that kind of loss won't continue unless I start to pick up the amount of exercise I do. I've slowly increased my duration and level of exercise to about a half hour of low-key to moderate of activity.

This week my goal is to get on my bike more and really ride it for at least a half hour. I live three miles from the Hollywood beachfront, so ultimately I'd like to regularly do the 6 miles round trip and maybe even do a mile or two extra along the broadwalk once I get there.

My weight loss motivation

I want to be able to ride rollercoasters again, feel more comfortable in airplane seats, be able to sit in those tiny chairs on the patios of cafes, not cause the tires in my tiny compact car to wear unevenly, start my 40s in a year and a half with the same healthful optimism with which I started my 20s, let my parents grow older without having to worry about my health, be able to shop for clothes at the mall again, rollerblade without pain again, and dance the night away again without having to sit the next one out!

Feeling full after first day on NS food

Yesterday was my first day on NutriSystem and I have to say it wasn't as bad as I was anticipating. I consumed 2,000 calories and didn't feel hungry all day. In fact, I felt pretty full. The pre-packaged food was tasty enough, and preparing the fruits and veggies to go with it was pretty easy, too. The main problem I'm having so far is that I don't usually eat so early in the morning, and on this plan you have to eat nearly a third of the day's calories at breakfast. I also find that my stomach is not used to processing all of this healthy stuff. I've had a slight stomach ache off an on since I started. I'm hoping this will eventually pass as my body becomes accustomed to all the roughage.

The thing I love best about NS is the website. I love logging my exercise, food consumption and weight (first weigh in is next Friday!). It is so helpful being able to track my calorie, fiber, fat, carb, and protein intake with just a few mouse clicks. Chatting with other people going through the same process is also pretty cool. And it's nice to know that there is 24/7 counseling available by phone