At the time I weighed about 460 pounds. Looking back, it's hard to believe how quickly things had gotten out of control. The funny thing is that I wasn't trying to lose 200 pounds. I wasn't thinking about becoming a hiker or transforming my life. I just knew I was headed in the wrong direction and wanted to turn things around before it got any worse.
The name itself tells you everything you need to know about where my head was at the time. I wasn't trying to become an athlete. I wasn't trying to get abs. I wasn't trying to impress anybody. I simply wanted to get under 400 pounds and stay there. That felt achievable. It felt possible. More importantly, it felt necessary.
Before I joined Nutrisystem, I had already lost about 40 pounds on my own. That was important because it proved to me that change was possible. But Nutrisystem gave me something I didn't have before. It gave me support. It gave me accountability. It gave me coaching. It also taught me things about nutrition, hunger, habits, and decision-making that I still carry with me today.
The Fitness 400 Project became my way of documenting that journey. If people were reading about my progress, I had another reason to stay engaged. I didn't want to keep explaining why I wasn't making progress. I wanted to make progress. Looking back, I realize the blog wasn't really about sharing my life with the world. It was about creating accountability for myself. I knew that if I kept writing, I would keep paying attention. And if I kept paying attention, I would keep making better decisions.
What happened next changed my life.
The weight started coming off. Not overnight, but steadily. Along the way, I learned something that frustrated me at first. When I made bad choices, the consequences didn't always show up immediately. When I made good choices, the rewards didn't always show up immediately either. Sometimes the scale would continue moving in the wrong direction even after I had started making better decisions. Over time I learned patience. I learned that today's choices don't always show up today. Eventually they do, but not always right away.
That lesson has stayed with me for years because it applies to much more than weight loss. Our lives are often the result of decisions we made weeks, months, or even years ago. The same is true of our health. We don't always see the impact of our choices immediately, but eventually those choices show up somewhere.
In my case, they showed up everywhere.
They showed up in my energy level. They showed up in the way I moved through the world. They showed up in the way my clothes fit. They showed up in my confidence. They showed up in my health.
Most importantly, they showed up in opportunities.
For years I had been focused on what I couldn't do. Then, little by little, I started noticing what I could do. Walking became easier. Everyday life became easier. I wasn't carrying as much weight, and my body was responding.
That's when hiking entered my life.
What started as a way to be more active became something much bigger. I found places like Middlesex Fells and Cat Rock in Massachusetts. I loved being in the woods. I loved the history. I loved the feeling of standing on an overlook and realizing that my body had carried me there.
Those experiences didn't happen because of one good decision. They happened because of hundreds of good decisions made over time. They happened because I trusted the process long enough to see the results.
Eventually I got all the way down to 255 pounds.
Around that time, The Fitness 400 Project evolved into MyFitLife2Day. The focus was no longer getting under 400 pounds. The focus was on maintaining a healthier life and continuing to grow.
For a while, things were going well.
Then life happened.
Looking back, I can see that some of the biggest changes in my weight were connected to major traumatic events in my life. I'm not a psychologist, and I'm not interested in pretending to be one. I can only speak from my own experience. In my case, major trauma influenced my choices, and those choices influenced my health.
Food became comfort.
Comfort influenced my choices.
Those choices became habits.
And over time, those habits became hundreds of extra pounds.
One of the biggest turning points came when my mother became ill and later passed away. During that period I slowly stopped doing some of the things that had brought me the most joy and peace. Hiking was one of them. I didn't stop all at once. I just stopped going. Then one day I realized it had been a long time since I had been on a trail.
The weight came back the same way it had left. Not overnight. One decision at a time.
Years passed.
Eventually I found myself back at 460 pounds.
That was a difficult realization because I had already done the work once. I had already learned the lessons. I had already proven that I could lose the weight. But knowing how to do something and consistently doing it are two different things.
The difference this time is that I understand myself better.
I understand the role accountability plays in my life.
I understand the role coaching plays in my life.
I understand that self-respect and health are connected.
And I understand that every decision matters, even when the results aren't immediately visible.
Today I'm moving in the right direction again. I've lost weight from my highest point. I've been diagnosed and treated for severe sleep apnea. I've learned that some of the health issues I was experiencing may have been connected in ways I didn't understand at the time. I've joined another coaching program because I still believe in accountability and support.
Recently I found myself thinking about The Fitness 400 Project and what it meant to me all those years ago.
At 460 pounds I was living the life of an 80-year-old. At 400 pounds I'm living the life of a 65-year-old. When I lose the weight, I'll be happy to just be 54.
That statement isn't really about age. It's about capability. It's about being able to move through the world the way I want to move through it. It's about hiking trails, exploring new places, fitting comfortably into seats, sleeping better, having more energy, and feeling at home in my own body.
