Why am I starting health coaching right now?

I've been grieving a death for nearly 10 years, and I'm finally ready to make longevity decisions for myself.

For a long time, I had pretty much given up. I'm a 9/11 survivor and I live with complex PTSD. Food became my comfort drug, and by 2008 I had ballooned to more than 460 pounds.

I had one session of CBT, but I didn't have health insurance, so I had to figure things out on my own. Before I ever picked up a book on nutrition, I read about 30 books on psychology, trauma, behavior change, and personal growth. Eventually, I lost more than 200 pounds and kept it off for more than five years.

Then my mom died.

Grief led to comfort choices. Comfort choices led to weight gain. Weight gain led to health issues. Health issues led to mental health struggles. The cycle fed itself for years.

Fortunately, I finally gained access to health care about two years ago because my deteriorating health was leaving me disabled. I was diagnosed and treated for severe sleep apnea, and that turned out to be the first key to everything. It cleared my brain almost overnight, and I could finally make decisions that weren't based on the complex traumas that had become my default setting.

Since then, I've started rebuilding.

My blood pressure is normal. My resting heart rate is where it should be. My atrial fibrillation is under control. My sleep is better. My thinking is clearer. I'm moving again.

And that's what this next chapter is about.

Health coaching isn't about trying to save my life. It's about expanding it.

I want more sunrises, more trails, more beaches, more adventures, more conversations, more laughter, and more years to enjoy all of it. I want the freedom to explore the world, to hike the places that call to me, to dance again, to travel, to fall in love with life again, and to have a body that can come along for the ride.

At 460 pounds, I was surviving.

Today, I'm living.

Health coaching is about helping me build a future that is bigger than my past.

Grief may not be a choice, but bouncing back from it is!

Last year, I posted something about wanting to lose weight so I could "be healthy and capable for my parents as they grow older". The week after I wrote those words, my mother's four-year-long battle with cancer would take its terminal turn; She was diagnosed with a brain lesion, and a single radiation treatment would speed up her demise to take her from us much too suddenly; in less than two months she was gone.

Rock-hopping Strickler Knob (Even at 350 pounds, I'm still hiking!)

Her sickness led to a deep sadness I was unable to shake. In my grief, I stopped doing anything that gave me pleasure. I stopped hiking altogether, and hiking at that point was the only remaining vestige of my fitlife days, the days of clean eating, medball workouts and 6-day-a-week gym visits that led to my 165-pound weight loss only a few years prior.

My mother's death did threw me for a loop. My mantra of decisions controlling my destiny, not my conditions, went out the window. My choices were once again not only influenced but dictated by my emotions. I had completely reverted to the hopelessness I'd lived in for nearly a decade in the wake of my experience during 9/11.

I'm back to hiking - having gone on my first hike a few days after my mother passed away. It's been seven months and I've done more than 30 hikes, averaging around three per month. This summer I plan to up the days hiking, and I also plan on bringing back my medball and planking routine. The gym is not a priority now, although it's only because I haven't found a gym that suits me in the small town to which I've recently relocated.

For those of you who still subscribe to my blog even though I'm not the living inspiration I may have been to you when you first found me, during my "amazing transformation", I thank you. This is, after all, a journey. I've said that from the beginning, and so I'll say it again. Every day I wake up the decisions I make point me toward my future. And I continue to hold myself accountable.

My weight gain, which had been out of control throughout this winter, has been stabilized. Now is the time to begin to move in more intentional ways that will once again excite my metabolism and fuel my body in ways that promote that movement. I know muscle memory will kick in once I get started, but that's where I am now - setting a goal, making a decision, and acting on it.

I'll keep you posted...more to come.

10 Things I Don’t Miss About Being Super Obese

This blog post is not pretty. In fact, it’s pretty blunt. As a disclaimer, you may not want to continue reading if you can’t handle the truth. I’m writing this primarily for me – to remember - because “those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” But I’m also writing it for anyone out there right now, reading this, who may be struggling with super obesity, so you can know that you CAN do it. You CAN overcome super obesity and live the life you deserve!

So without further ado, here they are: The 10 Things I Don’t Miss About Being Super Obese:

Before "Life Guy Brian", at 420 lbs

1. Skin tags on my neck and underarms 
2. Having a successful job interview on the phone turn into a nightmare when interviewed face-to-face 
3. Not being able to walk more than a quarter mile without having to sit down 
4. Being afraid to fly because I barely fit, needed a seat belt extension and was concerned I was squishing other passengers
5. Having to use baby wipes instead of toilet paper 
6. Having to use special tools and maneuvers in the shower to ensure my cleanliness 
7. Not being able to pick things up off the floor and feeling compelled to ask people to get things for me because the effort to do even little tasks was taxing 
8. Spending most of my spending money on cheap, fatty foods and sugary beverages 
9. Having to shop for clothes in specialty stores; Not being able to shop for bargains or at thrift stores 
10. Being sought after by “chubby chasers” instead of being pursued by someone who loves me for me

I could go on, but this is all the remembering I can handle right now. It’s tough looking back! But what’s tougher is thinking about all the people out there right now still in it, facing the same struggles I once did. I want to reach out to each and every one of you, give you a big hug and tell you that it can get better. You can lose weight and start living a healthy life.

In the words of the incredible, inspirational Tony Robbins, “It’s your decisions, not the conditions of your life that determine your destiny.” Think of it this way: The list above is nothing but conditions. But it was my decisions – to begin eating clean and getting progressively intensive regular exercise – that ultimately changed my life and led me to lose 165 pounds.

If that sounds simplistic, it’s because it really is that simple.

Contact me in the comment section below if you'd like to talk, or follow me, Life Guy Brian, on Twitter @MyFitLife2Day for daily motivation and inspiration. I look forward to hearing from you!

Confessions from my fit life: Ode to my fat skin ring

Ode to my fat skin ring
by Brian Schwarz

Like a constant unwanted companion

Echoing everything I don’t want to be

And am not

And never was

But somehow appeared to be

And acted like

That even after moving on

Stays with me to torture me

(or teach me?)

Reminding me

And making me wonder

Will you ever leave me alone?

***

NOTE: Sometimes I share things in this blog that I really wish I hadn't. As I prepare to hit the "publish" button now I have a feeling that this is one of those times. Still, this is part of my process, and this blog is about transparency, for my edification and (I hope) for the edification of others. I don't want to ever forget what I'm feeling tonight, as I sit here at my desk working on odds and ends and watching some Hulu TV. My entire body feels fit - chest up and waist down - but still I have this stubborn residue of a past life sitting as a ring at my mid-section. I can hide it when I stand, with good posture and clothes properly placed. But seated, it takes a gelatinous form that makes me feel as bad about my body today as I did when I weighed 420 pounds. I'm working hard to shrink it, and as I do I'm working even harder to stay positive and to learn to love my body as it is. It is a body that works. It's a body that works hard. And tomorrow it's a body that will take me on an amazing hike with a nearly 2,000-foot elevation gain, a hike that even folks without this mid-section yoke would be hard-pressed to accomplish. So I'm not ashamed to share this. In fact, I'm proud. And god-willing, this will be but a chapter of struggle in an otherwise whole book of triumph!

Fit Magazine features MyFitLife2Day: "Journey to Fitness"

The Albuquerque Journal is featuring my blog, MyFitLife2Day, and telling a bit of my fit-life story in its October issue of its Fit Magazine supplement - on newsstands today!

Many of you may know that besides being a an educator, life coach and motivational speaker, I worked for many years at the start of my career as a journalist. In July, I decided to get back into professional writing (I figured why not make some income on all this research I've been doing as I continue to work on my book about overcoming super obesity). After I contacted the Albuquerque Journal to discuss doing some articles on weight loss, fitness and overcoming obesity (as well as hiking, of course), a Journal reporter apparently checked out my blog and became interested in doing an article with me as the subject. I said, "sure!"

The article is called "Journey to Fitness: Personal Life Coach Blogs About Weight Loss, Better Food Choices". Check it out!

Brian Schwarz is an award-winning journalist whose career was derailed by super obesity. He fought his way back to health - losing 165 pounds in the process of his "fit-life journey". A professional communicator by trade and activator by nature, Brian's personal mission is to inspire others live their fullest lives. Follow Brian on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

Progress pic at 269 pounds - back on track after year off

Every now and then I post progress pics, and the time has come again. On the day this pic was taken (two days ago to be exact) I weighed in at 269 pounds.

This is me at 269 pounds working out at the gym in the complex where I live

One month ago, I weighed 286.  Those who follow my blog may remember that I reached 255 pounds in July of 2011 after having lost 165 pounds in just a year and a half. I took a year off from mindful eating to let my body adjust to the rapid weight loss. I was still exercising and eating healthy, but I often splurged on desserts of frozen yogurt, cake, cookies and the occasional candy bar. As a result, I gained 31 pounds. 

I'm back on track now, and I've lost 17 pounds by focusing once again on mindful eating. I still have 42 pounds to go to beat obesity by being under 30 BMI. Currently, I'm just at about 35 BMI. When I started I was at 56 BMI.

To find out what I'm doing to lose the weight, you can check out previous posts here on my blog. In short, I'm eating healthy and getting lots of exercise - hiking, swimming, medicine ball and resistance training at the gym.

Thanks as always for reading. Please follow me on Twitter @MyFitLife2Day. Also, check out my hiking blog  HikeyHikey and my goals blog Man of Merit.

Swimming - my new "everyday cardio"

Recently I've begun swimming about 10 laps or more in the pool at my complex here in the desert cities area of Southern California. I have been taking breaks at the end of every couple of laps, as needed, but I've been looking to kick it up a notch. Today, I came across an excellent routine I can do in sets. I can complete one full set without taking a break. So I'll plan on doing three sets per day as part of my new "everyday cardio" routine. Here it is:

1. Front crawl - two lengths
2. Back crawl - two lengths
3. Sidestroke - two lengths
4. Breaststroke - two lengths
5. Elementary backstroke - three lengths

Two lengths in the pool I'm using is 33 yards; Three lengths is 50 yards. Doing one set of these today I felt like my lungs got an amazing workout. I would have stayed to do the full three sets, but it was the middle of the day and I was worried about overexposure to the sun. Tomorrow I will begin doing the three sets of this great swimming workout in the morning. I may also opt to do the workout in the evening from time to time, perhaps doing as many six sets per day.

PS - My current weight is 276 pounds. Let's check in with my weight a week from now to see what kind of impact this new addition to my daily exercise routine. I'm also walking three miles per day and trying to get into a regular habit again with my medicine ball and plank routine.

Decisions, choices and the lifelong journey of change

People are always impressed when I tell I have lost more than 150 pounds to overcome super obesity. I'm proud of what I have accomplished. The funny thing is, though, I always feel like I'm taking credit for something that's not that big of a deal. My story really boils down to this: a decision, fueled by choices, which are mere elements of my lifelong journey of change.

Losing the weight wasn't actually as hard as you may think. It's certainly not as hard as I thought it would be before I finally made the decision to get my weight in check. Overcoming super obesity, for me, was just a series of good choices. The hard part actually was deciding to start making them in the first place.


A journey of 1,000 miles begins with (the decision to take) a single step!

I think the mistake a lot of folks make when then try to lose weight is they focus only on those choices - the day to day of what to eat and what not to eat, which activity burns more calories, who to share my successes with because they will support me and who to refrain from talking to about my weight loss because it might breed envy and jealousy, or simply make them feel bad. But what about the decision?

The decision to lose weight is the absolute most important factor in permanent weight loss. It is not a matter of what choices you make along the way, because none of us is perfect, and we will each make a series of good choices and bad ones every day of our lives. If we focus on the choices we will celebrate good ones and beat ourselves up for bad ones. When we focus on the decision, however, we are able to see our choices as a complex tapestry and we can focus on the bigger picture - why we are choosing to lose weight in the first place.

This question of "why" is at the root of the decision. The choices I make along the way - the question of "how" - will work themselves out as I remain focused on my lifelong journey of change and as I move forward, resolving those "why" questions that made my decision finally click in the first place.

What was behind my decision to lose weight? Part of the answer can be found here, on a post called My Weight Loss Motivation from January 2010. In that post I talk about the things I want to do and be and a bit of my purpose. But the real "why" is that I wanted to begin treating myself - my body and my mind - with the respect I deserve. Before I made the decision I had tried unsuccessfully to lose weight and keep it off many times before. I finally realized that these failed attempts at weight loss were the result of me focusing on my choices and not on my decision.

When I wake up every morning, the first thing I do is remind myself of why I'm on this fit life journey. In other words, I am mindful of my journey. I give it the respect it deserves so I am sure to give myself the respect I deserve. This mindfulness ensures I will make choices that fuel my decision.

It's really that simple. Even so, I do want to thank you so much for your encouragement, and please continue to be thoroughly impressed by the fact that I have lost more than 150 pounds. But please, also, save some of that enthusiasm for later, when I have reached my weight loss goal of overcoming obesity once and for all.

PS - As of today, I have lost 10 pounds in the past two weeks. Current weight - 276. I have 21 pounds to lose to reach my low weight mark from June of last year (2011) and a total of 49 pounds to go until I am no longer considered obese. Thanks so much for reading and sharing my story with others on your social networks, Your participation inspires me! MyFitLife2Day is on Facebook. And please, follow me on Twitter @MyFitLife2Day.

Will Body Combat improve my quality of life?

Today in response to one of my articles on fitness and weight loss published on HubPages, someone asked me if I could share with them a list of "quality of life" improvements that have come about as a result of my extreme weight loss. Great question, and I'm going to have to dig deep. There are physical as well as emotional improvements, mental clarity, etc. Let me see...I'm definitely going to have to work on this today.

Another thing on my agenda for today is that I'm planning to take my first group fitness class. My gym - Midtown Sports and Wellness in Albuquerque, NM - offers several LesMills classes, including Body Combat. The name itself is intimidating to me. Plus, it sounds pretty rigorous. Still, I'm not afraid of a little sweat, so what could be the reason that I'm feeling so intimidated about showing up?

I think it has to do with the group dynamic. I've observed group classes from the outside, and everyone seems to be in their own little zone. But I still can't help but think I will be judged if I'm not doing something right, or if I need to take a breather at a time not designated for one. I know this is all in my head, and I need to get over it soon because class starts in two hours!

Hmmm, I guess this dilemma could play into my article on quality of life somehow. Well, two years ago such a question wouldn't even come to mind - a group fitness class? Please! I would put off things like taking a shower because of how difficult it was to maneuver in there. Sheesh! What am I waiting for. I think I'll get ready for class!

Phase 3 in full effect - Rugby anyone?

Phase 3 of my fitness plan is in full effect. For those of you who've read my blog since the beginning you may recall that I began Phase 1 of my fitness plan more than two years ago. Phase 1 was all about nutrition. After realizing on my 37th birthday in 2008 that I was tipping the scales at nearly 420 pounds, I decided I had to do something about my weight. It was then that I decided to move to New Mexico to be closer to my grandma Fay, and I started this blog in December of that year as I began planning out strategies for for what I knew would be a long and challenging process.

My first attempts at changing my diet got stalled (notice I didn't say I failed, because that experience was an integral part of this whole still-ongoing process), and I finally got the jump start I needed when I ordered Nutrisystem in January of 2010. I shed more than 70 pounds fairly quickly, and in May of 2010 I was ready to start Phase 2 - exercise.

I started walking about a half-mile a day and joined a gym to began resistance training. I committed to one hour at the gym five days-a-week, and it stuck. I continued losing about 10 pounds a month (sometimes more, sometimes less), and have continued with the gym until today, just more than a year later. I'm still committed to the same amount of time at the gym, though my workouts have become increasingly more intense.

Now, though, I'm looking for something more. I'm ready to begin Phase 3 - sport. I have been considering some of the different sports offered at local gyms - boxing, capoeira, krav maga, etc. But I just can't afford to pay as much as they're asking for something I'm not even sure that I'd like. Plus, I'm more interested in a team sport.

Well, as I look to move to Boston this August, I have been doing some research online about team sports for adults in the Boston area. And I found that there is a competitive rugby team called the Boston Ironsides that accepts and trains new members - even if you have no rugby-playing experience. So I'm going to give it a try. I think.

What do you think? I haven't played competitive sports since high school. And admittedly I don't enjoy dirt and mud and sweat, all key components of rugby. But I do want to challenge myself and take my fitness to a whole new level. I think this is the way to do it! Excited. Nervous. Doubtful. Hopeful. I'm feeling a range of emotions. But most of all, just happy that I am at the point in my life now where I can actually consider this as an option, whereas before it would have seemed like little more than a pipe dream.

:-)

Fitness and nutrition regime on point

This week I've been off work so I've been hitting the gym harder than ever. Three days of double workouts and three days of the regular fare. I'm getting more rest and eating more to compensate, and I feel great!

Today I got the materials for my correspondence course on fitness and exercise. I'm doing the certified personal trainer program through ACE - American Council on Exercise. Just flipped through the books and am thinking, wow, I have a sh*tload to learn!

I'm sitting at Panera having a cup of chicken noodle soup and Greek salad with grilled chicken. I love this meal, although I don't have it as much as I used to now that Khizer and I are cooking more at home. Our nutrition is on point, and I feel fueled at every moment throughout the day.

We have our protein-packed breakfast of Ezekiel 4:9 Golden Flax cereal and 2% milk, with a fried egg over a slice of Arnold Double Fiber toast.

Then for the mid morning snacks we have assorted nuts, dried fruits and seeds and 2% Cabot Greek Yogurt with frozen organic mixed berries.

For lunch we have quinoa and peas with some other main dish, like soup or curry packed with an assortment of leafy green and root veggies, and a couple of side veggies raw, like celery, grape tomatoes, carrots or broccoli.

The afternoon snack is usually an apple and a banana, and maybe some more quinoa if there's an afternoon workout thrown in. And dinner is a lighter version of lunch, usually just the quinoa with a bit of curry or cup of soup.

This routine has us feeling strong and with tons of energy throughout the day. We wake up early and try to get to bed before midnight, but admittedly our one nutritional weakness at this point is getting enough rest. Rest is just as important to the body and mind as the food we eat, so it's definitely got to be one of our resolutions in the new year to be more mindful of this.

Well, that's it for now. I'm going to be studying the ACE materials pretty hard over the next week or so. I have a lot of work to do to prepare for the new semester, too. I'm teaching that Overcoming Obesity class and preparing my motivational talk. I also have a new class in the social sciences department at MDC starting - Seminar for Student Success. I'm psyched for the new year, and am so thankful that God has given me the strength to accomplish so many of my personal goals in 2010.

Motivating others to overcome obesity?

I've been asked to talk to a fairly large group of college students on my personal struggles with overcoming obesity. It's my first of what I hope will be many gigs as a motivational speaker.

Description: Why is weight loss such an elusive mystery? We all know the formula – diet and exercise are the key to achieving a healthy weight and maintaining a fit physique. But with so many options for weight loss available today – from fad diets, diet pills and fat-fighting injections to bariatric surgery and an array of so-called non-invasive outpatient procedures – it’s nearly impossible to know where to start.

Well, what if the answer to the question weren’t “out there”, but rather “in here”, inside your own heart and your own mind? Truth is, you may never lose weight unless you first decide that you’re going to do it, and then believe that it’s possible.

Are you obese, or just overweight? Perhaps you know someone who is. Then this workshop is for you. Come hear the story of one obese man who is currently in the midst of the fight of his life – to recover from obesity by losing nearly half of his body weight, about 200 pounds, simply to be classed as “overweight”. You’ll learn how achieving your weight-loss goals might just come down to one snap decision.