Why am I starting health coaching right now?

I've been grieving a death for nearly 10 years, and I'm finally ready to make longevity decisions for myself.

For a long time, I had pretty much given up. I'm a 9/11 survivor and I live with complex PTSD. Food became my comfort drug, and by 2008 I had ballooned to more than 460 pounds.

I had one session of CBT, but I didn't have health insurance, so I had to figure things out on my own. Before I ever picked up a book on nutrition, I read about 30 books on psychology, trauma, behavior change, and personal growth. Eventually, I lost more than 200 pounds and kept it off for more than five years.

Then my mom died.

Grief led to comfort choices. Comfort choices led to weight gain. Weight gain led to health issues. Health issues led to mental health struggles. The cycle fed itself for years.

Fortunately, I finally gained access to health care about two years ago because my deteriorating health was leaving me disabled. I was diagnosed and treated for severe sleep apnea, and that turned out to be the first key to everything. It cleared my brain almost overnight, and I could finally make decisions that weren't based on the complex traumas that had become my default setting.

Since then, I've started rebuilding.

My blood pressure is normal. My resting heart rate is where it should be. My atrial fibrillation is under control. My sleep is better. My thinking is clearer. I'm moving again.

And that's what this next chapter is about.

Health coaching isn't about trying to save my life. It's about expanding it.

I want more sunrises, more trails, more beaches, more adventures, more conversations, more laughter, and more years to enjoy all of it. I want the freedom to explore the world, to hike the places that call to me, to dance again, to travel, to fall in love with life again, and to have a body that can come along for the ride.

At 460 pounds, I was surviving.

Today, I'm living.

Health coaching is about helping me build a future that is bigger than my past.