"Where I'm From": A poem for my mom on her 65th birthday

Today would be my mom's 77th birthday. She passed away when she was just 69, from lung cancer that spread to her brain. Smoking robbed her from many years, and that has been a lesson to me to take care of myself. Life is precious. With all the temptations to self-comfort, taking care of yourself is sometimes not a priority when the world gets tough. But if I am not willing to do it for myself, I must be willing to do it for the people I love. If I have any impact on others like my mom did on me, people who love me would feel lost without me.

On my mom's 65th birthday, she asked my sister, my brother, and I to each write a poem. We were given only the prompt, "Where I'm from", and of course, we all start from one place, don't we? We are here because our mothers loved us enough to carry us in their womb and give birth to us. That is the start of it all. We are with our mothers, if we are lucky, for most of our lives. Too bad we cannot be with them in the end.

Anyway, I thought I would share this poem with you and perhaps encourage you to write your own poem for your mom inspired by the same prompt. If you do, please share it with me in the comments. I would love to know more about those who take the time to read my blog. You are the reason I keep doing it.

"Where I'm From", a poem written for my mom on her 65th birthday

Confessions from my fit life: Ode to my fat skin ring

Ode to my fat skin ring
by Brian Schwarz

Like a constant unwanted companion

Echoing everything I don’t want to be

And am not

And never was

But somehow appeared to be

And acted like

That even after moving on

Stays with me to torture me

(or teach me?)

Reminding me

And making me wonder

Will you ever leave me alone?

***

NOTE: Sometimes I share things in this blog that I really wish I hadn't. As I prepare to hit the "publish" button now I have a feeling that this is one of those times. Still, this is part of my process, and this blog is about transparency, for my edification and (I hope) for the edification of others. I don't want to ever forget what I'm feeling tonight, as I sit here at my desk working on odds and ends and watching some Hulu TV. My entire body feels fit - chest up and waist down - but still I have this stubborn residue of a past life sitting as a ring at my mid-section. I can hide it when I stand, with good posture and clothes properly placed. But seated, it takes a gelatinous form that makes me feel as bad about my body today as I did when I weighed 420 pounds. I'm working hard to shrink it, and as I do I'm working even harder to stay positive and to learn to love my body as it is. It is a body that works. It's a body that works hard. And tomorrow it's a body that will take me on an amazing hike with a nearly 2,000-foot elevation gain, a hike that even folks without this mid-section yoke would be hard-pressed to accomplish. So I'm not ashamed to share this. In fact, I'm proud. And god-willing, this will be but a chapter of struggle in an otherwise whole book of triumph!