My fit life today at 53 - after glance back, fully focused on the future

Mine is a complicated relationship with food, a relationship that leads me down a path toward self-destruction during particularly challenging eras of my life. Fortunately, at 53 I’ve been up, and I’ve been down many times before, so I’m no longer carrying the extra stress of not understanding my body or fearing that I’m incapable of making the kind of lifestyle changes necessary to get my nutrition, and ultimately my fat to muscle ratio, back in check.

I know nothing is permanent if I decide to stop accepting a status quo that is not to my liking. Earlier this year, as I detailed in a previous post, I decided to address my health to be able to attack the cancer of morbid obesity that has once again taken hold of me.

Enjoying a free 8-shot shaken espresso at Starbucks on my 53d b-day

My weight maxed out at 455 this time around, five pounds less than I weighed at my all-time high weight in my late 30s, the result of 9/11-related PTSD

I don’t know how I let this happen to me again after losing nearly 200 pounds by my 40^th birthday, back in August 2011. Reflecting on that now is not helpful. Setting goals and planning is. So that is what I am in the process of now. In fact, I’ve already lost 45 pounds, which is about 10 percent of my body weight since May of this year.

Now my goal is to achieve a much healthier weight, remaining mindful of my choices, day by day. I commit from this day forward to making choices filtered through my original decision to control my caloric intake and spur myself to exercise at least 10 minutes daily.

The goal this time is to get down to a weight somewhere between 245 and 285 by my 55^th birthday two years from now. It’s God’s whether I get there at all, but I am certainly going to strive toward my goal, so long as I have the functions working in my body to allow me to do so.

You may be thinking, “Hey, Brian, why would you want to stop at 245 if you are still considered obese, according to your height of 6 feet 1 inch, above 225. Well, I can only reply that I know myself, and because I’ve been down this road before, I know what happens along the way to my ultimate fitness goal.

I know that 285 is achievable, and it is a comfortable size for me. Any less than 245 pounds and I feel scrawny. So, I will focus on building muscle through resistance training, just as I did the last time I struggled with this monkey on my back, or should I say piggy in my gut? lol

QUICK CHECK IN - Fit Foods, Gym Body, and Weight Loss Goals

Here's a quick update on my progress. I'm still doing well on my caloric intake, keeping at around 2,200 calories per day and focusing on macros. I try to stick to a plan of getting 30% of my daily calories fat, 30% from protein, and 40% from carbs. I tend to eat more carbs in the morning, for energy, more fat in the mid-day, to keep me satiated, and more protein toward the end of the day, to help my muscles recover from activity and keep my metabolism going through the night.

FOOD NEWS

I prepare all of my meals at home and avoid eating out as much as possible - one meal a week is okay, but no more than that. Due to my being a novice home cook, I am finding that keeping my protein intake up while keeping my carb intake down is a struggle. Still, I am pretty much able to do it fairly consistently. 

Turmeric and garlic seasoned egg with avocado on whole grain rye

GYM BODY

I went to the gym today - joined Crunch in York - and met with a personal trainer for an orientation session. He gave me a body scan. I weighed in at 395 (Yay! I was 420 less than a month ago, so I'm doing something right.) Fortunately my muscle mass from working out and rigorous hiking in my younger days is still under all my blubber. Overall, my body composition is about 37 percent fat, which is better than expected given my weight. Apparently 247 pounds is non-fat and less than 150 pounds is fat. My BMI is about 52.

Given my current condition, I set an initial goal with the help of Crunch fitness trainer, Andrew, to get down to 50 pounds by April 20. Fittingly, since it will be 4/20, I will celebrate with a big spliff when I make it to my weight goal by that date! (I am pretty much straight edge these days, using no alcohol, marijuana, or an stimulants other than coffee, so this will be a nice celebratory treat!)

WEIGHT LOSS GOALS

Realistically, I think I'll be able to lose 60 by my April goal date, but 50 is definitely well within reach. It is going to feel amazing to be down to 345 again. I'll be able to fit into all my nice sports coats in time for Easter, and I will be feeling like a million bucks for sure! (I already feel like half a million now, just having started to see these early results from my decision to get fit.) The ultimate goal of course is to feel like a billion dollars when I get to 295 by Thanksgiving.

I would probably be able to reach 295 sooner, but in April I hope to be in the position to more aggressively increase my muscle mass as I continue to lose fat, so my actual loss of pounds will likely slow. I don't want to do things too fast, and I want to re-asses everything at 295. Eventually I would like to be under 250 - this would be healthier in the long run and also would allow me to not be held back by things like weight restrictions at water parks and such, and it would certainly give me the widest range of fashion possibilities, as I'd be at 1XL at that size. (I am currently 4X).

But, we shall see. When I lost nearly 200 pounds 10 years ago, I really did not feel like myself once I reached 255. I felt skinny, if you can believe it, and I really felt like a different person - and not in a good way. When I got back up to about 280 or 290, I felt a bit bad about gaining some weight back, but honestly I felt more like myself. So this time I will pause there to get used to things before continuing on with weight loss, if I so choose.

THANKS FOR FOLLOWING ALONG MY JOURNEY!

YouTube: Brianopolis

Grief may not be a choice, but bouncing back from it is!

Last year, I posted something about wanting to lose weight so I could "be healthy and capable for my parents as they grow older". The week after I wrote those words, my mother's four-year-long battle with cancer would take its terminal turn; She was diagnosed with a brain lesion, and a single radiation treatment would speed up her demise to take her from us much too suddenly; in less than two months she was gone.

Rock-hopping Strickler Knob (Even at 350 pounds, I'm still hiking!)

Her sickness led to a deep sadness I was unable to shake. In my grief, I stopped doing anything that gave me pleasure. I stopped hiking altogether, and hiking at that point was the only remaining vestige of my fitlife days, the days of clean eating, medball workouts and 6-day-a-week gym visits that led to my 165-pound weight loss only a few years prior.

My mother's death did threw me for a loop. My mantra of decisions controlling my destiny, not my conditions, went out the window. My choices were once again not only influenced but dictated by my emotions. I had completely reverted to the hopelessness I'd lived in for nearly a decade in the wake of my experience during 9/11.

I'm back to hiking - having gone on my first hike a few days after my mother passed away. It's been seven months and I've done more than 30 hikes, averaging around three per month. This summer I plan to up the days hiking, and I also plan on bringing back my medball and planking routine. The gym is not a priority now, although it's only because I haven't found a gym that suits me in the small town to which I've recently relocated.

For those of you who still subscribe to my blog even though I'm not the living inspiration I may have been to you when you first found me, during my "amazing transformation", I thank you. This is, after all, a journey. I've said that from the beginning, and so I'll say it again. Every day I wake up the decisions I make point me toward my future. And I continue to hold myself accountable.

My weight gain, which had been out of control throughout this winter, has been stabilized. Now is the time to begin to move in more intentional ways that will once again excite my metabolism and fuel my body in ways that promote that movement. I know muscle memory will kick in once I get started, but that's where I am now - setting a goal, making a decision, and acting on it.

I'll keep you posted...more to come.

Unlike trails I hike, my fit life journey's map is but outlined in my dreams

Yesterday, as I was transferring files from one computer to another, I spent about seven hours going through old photos and videos recounting my fit life journey. I hadn't looked at many of these in a few years, and I was a bit shocked at what I looked like when I was at my low weight of 255 pounds.

Before my fit life journey began at 420+ pounds, August 2009

After 18 months and 165-pound weight loss, at 255 pounds

I looked like a different person! The round face and body curves were all but gone. And even more, when I watched myself talk in vlogs (that were never posted) I remembered instantly what I was thinking and feeling (and not saying) in them. I was saying these happy things with my mouth, but as I would catch a glimpse of myself on the screen while recording a sort of sad wash would come over my demeanor, if only for a moment, as I realized I really wasn't connecting with the image my thinner self was projecting.

After nearly 165 pounds of weight loss, with mom and dad, August 2011

Healthy. Hopeful. But lost.

When I gained back 65 of the 165 pounds I'd fought so hard to lose, I once again recognized myself. And while I found comfort in this familiarity, the joy I'd felt when I was becoming that healthy and hopeful self faded as my round face and curvy body returned.

Over the past two years since the re-gain, I've struggled to get started with a new round of weight loss. I want to get down to 255 pounds again - and in fact I want to achieve my original goal of getting down to 225 pounds to completely overcome obesity once and for all - and I know how to do it. Getting started I can do. But sticking to a new regime for more than a month is proving incredibly difficult.

Tomorrow is my 44th birthday, and birthdays for me are always a good time to become motivated to make change. So here it is again. I'm setting a goal for myself to lose 65 pounds over the course of the next year. When I turn 45 I will celebrate my accomplishment. And when I am 50 I will celebrate five years of having kept the weight off.

To get started, I need to put a framework to my goals, reasons why accomplishing this weight loss is important to me. So here goes, these are the 10 things I want to result from losing weight and regaining the fitness I'd fought so hard to achieve a few years ago:

1. I want to extend my probable years of mobility and stave off preventable disease by being kinder to my body.
2. I want to wear clothes again - regular sized clothes, like XL, not 2XL or 3XL - without feeling like I'm pushing their limits.
3. I want to go to the waterpark and not be turned away from the best waterslides because of my weight.
4. I want to feel light on my feet and reduce the strain on my ankles, knees and hips.
5. I want to be able to hike the highest mountains without having to slow down just to catch my breath.
6. I want to ride my bike for miles and miles.
7. I want to kayak without fear.
8. I want to speed through the forest canopy on zip-lines with my friends.
9. I want to be healthy and capable for my parents as they grow older
10. I want to live a life that is not obsessed with filling my body but instead one that is happy because I'm fueling it.

Unlike the trails I hike, my fit life journey's map is but outlined in my dreams

Self image is a powerful contributor to motivation for anyone, and for me especially I think. Honestly, I don't like the way I look when I get under about 280 pounds. But I need to do it for reasons that transcend self image. Just as before, I will be blogging about my journey. I do this not only as a journal to myself so that I can keep track of my progress but also because I find I am energized spurred on toward my goals by the collective support weight loss and fit life community. This is crucial. As such, I want to thank any of you in advance for reading and encouraging me along the way. THANK YOU!!! 

NOTE: Hey #fitfam! Please follow me on Instagram @fitlifechronicles and Twitter @myfitlife2day. 

"Those who forget their history...": Looking back on my fitness journey

Snowed in like much of the Northeast today, I'm sitting here at my HP TouchSmart 9100 watching Project Runway on Hulu and looking through a file of pictures called "going down", progress pics I took of my dramatic weight loss a couple of years ago. If you read yesterday's post, you know I've gained back 70 pounds of the 165 pounds I had lost. As of the New Year, I have become once again focused on fitness and healthy living.

Today, as I go through these pics seeking some inspiration, I am amazed at how different I look at my various plateau weights, from 420 to 255 and everywhere in between. And honestly, I am taken aback at myself that I actually prefer the way I look at the heavier weights, between 270 and 290.

Looking back at my low weight of 255, I feel I looked good, more healthy in fact. But my face seems unfamiliar to me now, and I remember it did at the time the pics were taken, too. This means I have a preference for my heavier image, which could be why psychologically it is easy for me to put on weight. Fortunately, since I know the true root of this preference, I believe I will be able to remain conscious of it throughout my weight loss this time around. This is not about image, after all, its about health and fitness.

So, without further ado, here are a few of the plateau progress pics as well as a current pic. A brief description of the moment of time each pic was taken is included. Please leave a comment below and let me know what you think of the images as well as the concept of weight preference as it relates to self image and prescriptive weight loss.

Reading "The Perks of Being a Wallflower", Hollywood, FL, September 2009

420 lbs.: The above pic shows me as I was reaching my max weight. Can you tell I wore a 6XL shirt? People always told me I "carried the weight well", but shirt size doesn't lie. The fall of 2009 was difficult for me. I lost my job in Philadelphia and moved back to South Florida, about a hundred pounds heavier than when I'd left. While looking for work, I was working from home as a translator. I remember trying to go for walks, and I would barely get to the end of my block before feeling I needed to sit down. I was unable to find work in my field, so in a bold move in January of 2010 I convinced a local pub manager to hire me as a waiter. I'd been a waiter before, and I convinced him I'd be able to handle the work despite the apparent limitations of my size. This forced me to get up every day and walk. I did this all while starting a new healthier diet, which proved to me I had will-power, as I was able to turn away their discounted food even though it was all my favorite fare: meatloaf, bangers and mash, burgers and fries, etc.

Walking the dogs, the exercise that got me started, March 2010

345 lbs.: This me walking the dogs three months into my weight loss journey. Walking my dogs was part of my healthy lifestyle, and I'd lost more than 60 pounds. I was down three shirt sizes, to a 3XL. Until this point, my exercise regime consisted mainly of taking my dogs for walks. I was up to about 10 miles per week, done in two-mile increments five times a week at my local dog park. This is also just around the time I started working out at Island City Fitness in Fort Lauderdale.

Feeling fly in my first non-big-and-tall outfit in many years, May 2010

325 lbs.: Pictured above is me, down 95 pounds from my starting weight and 100 pounds from my goal weight. (This is also the weight I am at currently - see The Truth about 2013). I remember when I reached it going down. I felt amazing. I had just begun shopping at regular stores that carried 2XL. And I had garnered the confidence to go out and interview for better jobs - that's when I was hired as a teacher and coordinator at Miami Dade College. In addition to the walking, I had started biking from my house to the beach and back several times a week and was starting to go to the gym regularly. This is the look of momentum.

Time to hit the gym! Fort Lauderdale, FL, June 2010

310 lbs.: I dropped a lot of weight at the beginning of summer - probably because I upped my exercise just at the height of the South Florida heat. By the time the above pic was taken, in addition to the biking and the walking, I was rollerblading on Sundays and lifting weights at the gym six days per week. I had met a guy at the gym who was impressed by my progress and we started working out together four days per week. Until then I was mostly doing medicine ball exercises various machines in the gym, timid to hit the free weights. He gave me a routine that I pretty much used for the rest of the summer. I was doing four days of resistance training plus core work, and two days that focused on core alone.

Experimenting with fashion, Hollywood, FL, July 2010

300 lbs.: By this time the above pic was taken, I was on auto-pilot. My entire life was enveloped in fitness. I was active six days a week at this point, doing at least two fitness activities daily and three on Sundays. I forced myself to take a day off, and I was good about rotating my exercises to allow muscle groups to rest. I was starting to squeeze into XL clothing and didn't mind if my clothes fit tight. I felt unstoppable.

On the beach one year into my weight loss journey, Hollywood, FL, 2010

270 lbs.: The pic above was my first "after" pic - I had begun my weight loss journey in January of 2010, and this is me at the end of the same year, after losing 150 pounds. To say the least, the results were dramatic. Even the shot above at just 30 pounds heavier shows a marked difference in my face. I was happy with my results, but I remember at this time worrying about looking like someone who "used to be super obese". I couldn't stop talking about my weight loss to everyone I met, so that probably fed into my fears that you could just look at me and tell. 

Showing strength at Rapids Water Park in West Palm Beach, FL, May 2011

255 lbs.: By May of 2011 I had reached the pinnacle of my weight loss. I celebrated with a trip to the water park, here I confidently shucked my shirt and wandered around the park with just my flip flops. I had so much fun doing anything that required strength - at that time I looked for an opportunity to work out wherever I went. I went on several water slides, but I became frustrated when I had to opt out of some of the more exciting rides because the weight cut off was 250 pounds. At just five pounds over the limit I probably would have been okay, but I feared some catastrophe would happen if I were to attempt it, so I abstained from some of the fun. 

Eating out at a Greek restaurant, on a date, Miami, FL, June 2011

260 lbs.: I can't put my finger on the exact moment I made the decision, but after a year and a half of strict adherence to diet, I decided it was time to let go of the reigns a bit. I told myself that a little weight gain was okay - probably because I thought I was starting to look funny, like I had Al Roker face or something. But I remained committed to maintaining my weight loss and kept my weight gain below 275 for more than a year.

Over the course of the next two years a lot changed in my life. I moved from Miami to Boston to Albuquerque to Palm Springs all in search of amazing trails. I was hiking 20+ miles per week, but this was my only exercise during these times of transition. Eventually, the trail led me home to Pennsylvania, and to Philadelphia, where I currently live. I have struggle to find a gym that inspires me like Island City did, and while I am still hiking it's been reduced to about five miles per week. And until two days ago, I had been eating like a pig, which has led me to re-gain 70 pounds that I had worked so hard to take of just two and three years ago.

This guy's committed to fitness in 2014! Catoctin Mountains, MD, Dec. 2013

 To read more about my three-year (to date) fitness journey and what's going on now in my weight loss progress, check out yesterday's post - The Truth about 2013 - and follow me Google+ and Twitter (MyFitLife2Day) and Instagram (FitLifeChronicles).

Single again - time to regain focus on my weight loss journey!

From its inception, I have regarded this blog as a place for me to track my personal journey from super obesity to fitness. I often measure my progress in pounds lost, but for the past two years, I have been struggling to continue losing weight and even, at times, to maintain my weight loss. I would love to say that I share my ups and downs equally, but that would be a lie. Still, sometimes I realize I must force myself to come clean about where I am when I'm down so I can continue on with my journey leading with my decisions rather than being led by my conditions.

See, for about 18 months at the beginning of my weight loss journey I was super focused on numbers - I lost 165 pounds, going from 420 to 255, dealing only with a few plateaus but never really seeing the numbers on the scale go up once they had gone down. During most of that time I was single, and so it was easy, because I had only to focus on myself. But once I reached 276 pounds I found myself falling in love, and slowly my focus shifted from my journey to my journey with this other person, and I decided I would rather focus on building my relationship with this person rather than continue to focus on losing weight as my primary objective.

While we were happily together, I somehow gained weight, stabilizing at the 276 mark, or what I weighed when we met. But the relationship was not always certain. We broke up or were separated at two points along the way. And during both of these break-ups I was able to lose weight again, getting back down into the 260s both times. Then, each time we we got back together I found I gained the weight back, even getting into the 280s.

Recently, we broke up for the third and - probably - final time. I'm once again losing weight and have lost 10 pounds in the two weeks since our separation. I'm realizing that until I reach my goal weight  of 225 pounds it would be best if I avoid romantic entanglements that will get me off track. This being said, I now find myself at the point where I need to come up with a new game plan. As such, I'm going back to the beginning and focusing on the three basic points that helped me achieve my intermediate goals in the first place. These are:

1. Get at least 30 minutes of aerobic activity per day (walking, hiking, medicine ball, HIIT, etc.).
2. Drink at least 8, 8 oz. glasses of water per day - plus two extra glasses of water to properly hydrate for my current weight and environment (I live in the high desert).
3. Control portion size, eat 6 small meals and consume no more than 2,000 calories per day.

Once these three points are under control I will add more to my regimen, but for now these will suffice in helping me to lose at least 10 pounds per month and maintain my good health. My goal is to reach my goal weight of 225 pounds by June 1, 2013.

10 Things I Don’t Miss About Being Super Obese

This blog post is not pretty. In fact, it’s pretty blunt. As a disclaimer, you may not want to continue reading if you can’t handle the truth. I’m writing this primarily for me – to remember - because “those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” But I’m also writing it for anyone out there right now, reading this, who may be struggling with super obesity, so you can know that you CAN do it. You CAN overcome super obesity and live the life you deserve!

So without further ado, here they are: The 10 Things I Don’t Miss About Being Super Obese:

Before "Life Guy Brian", at 420 lbs

1. Skin tags on my neck and underarms 
2. Having a successful job interview on the phone turn into a nightmare when interviewed face-to-face 
3. Not being able to walk more than a quarter mile without having to sit down 
4. Being afraid to fly because I barely fit, needed a seat belt extension and was concerned I was squishing other passengers
5. Having to use baby wipes instead of toilet paper 
6. Having to use special tools and maneuvers in the shower to ensure my cleanliness 
7. Not being able to pick things up off the floor and feeling compelled to ask people to get things for me because the effort to do even little tasks was taxing 
8. Spending most of my spending money on cheap, fatty foods and sugary beverages 
9. Having to shop for clothes in specialty stores; Not being able to shop for bargains or at thrift stores 
10. Being sought after by “chubby chasers” instead of being pursued by someone who loves me for me

I could go on, but this is all the remembering I can handle right now. It’s tough looking back! But what’s tougher is thinking about all the people out there right now still in it, facing the same struggles I once did. I want to reach out to each and every one of you, give you a big hug and tell you that it can get better. You can lose weight and start living a healthy life.

In the words of the incredible, inspirational Tony Robbins, “It’s your decisions, not the conditions of your life that determine your destiny.” Think of it this way: The list above is nothing but conditions. But it was my decisions – to begin eating clean and getting progressively intensive regular exercise – that ultimately changed my life and led me to lose 165 pounds.

If that sounds simplistic, it’s because it really is that simple.

Contact me in the comment section below if you'd like to talk, or follow me, Life Guy Brian, on Twitter @MyFitLife2Day for daily motivation and inspiration. I look forward to hearing from you!

Dream big but decide bigger!

Here's the funny thing I've noticed about goals since beginning my fitlife journey nearly four years ago: Only before you decide to pursue goals do they feel insurmountable.

It's like when I decided to start hiking and set a goal to climb Sandia - a mountain rising more than 5,000 feet above the City of Albuquerque, nestled the Rio Grande Valley. It may sound dismissive of the accomplishment, but to be honest, by simply making the decision to climb that mountain, the mountain became smaller in my mind.

It is the same with weight loss. Three years ago before I decided to lose weight, I figured losing even 100 pounds without medical intervention would be out of the question - and at more than twice my normal body weight I needed to lose 200. Absurd! Ridiculous! No Way!

But there I was, in the silence of my heart, filtering out all critics, including my own ever-present internal critic, making a decision to go for it. Almost immediately, once the decision had been made, there was no doubt in my mind. I was going to overcome obesity and more than halve my body weight come hell or high water!

When I met my partner Khizer two years ago, he spoke of running a marathon one day. By keeping his dreams in the "one day" category he was safely on this side of setting a goal. Running a marathon for someone who has only once in his memory run something like ten miles might seem impossible. It is this feeling of being made a fool by countering the impossibility and failing that prevents many from making decisions that could change their lives forever. But earlier this year Khizer made the decision to run in Albuquerque's Duke City Marathon, and suddenly the finish line to him seemed much closer to him than it had before. He's now training and has completed several long runs. He ran 20 miles on Saturday and told me of his training, "This really isn't as hard as I thought it would be." I'll be there as he accomplishes this seemingly insurmountable goal October 20. His dream, because of his decision to run, is about to become reality.

The moral of this story is this: Once you make a decision, your choices will fuel that decision. As inspirational speaker Tony Robbins says, "It is your decisions, and not the conditions of your life, that determine your destiny." It's so true! No matter your conditions or how far off your heart's desire may seem from where you are right now, you must believe that you are as close as your ability to make that decision to go for it allows you to be.

In other words, dream big. But when you're ready to make your move, decide bigger!

Swimming - my new "everyday cardio"

Recently I've begun swimming about 10 laps or more in the pool at my complex here in the desert cities area of Southern California. I have been taking breaks at the end of every couple of laps, as needed, but I've been looking to kick it up a notch. Today, I came across an excellent routine I can do in sets. I can complete one full set without taking a break. So I'll plan on doing three sets per day as part of my new "everyday cardio" routine. Here it is:

1. Front crawl - two lengths
2. Back crawl - two lengths
3. Sidestroke - two lengths
4. Breaststroke - two lengths
5. Elementary backstroke - three lengths

Two lengths in the pool I'm using is 33 yards; Three lengths is 50 yards. Doing one set of these today I felt like my lungs got an amazing workout. I would have stayed to do the full three sets, but it was the middle of the day and I was worried about overexposure to the sun. Tomorrow I will begin doing the three sets of this great swimming workout in the morning. I may also opt to do the workout in the evening from time to time, perhaps doing as many six sets per day.

PS - My current weight is 276 pounds. Let's check in with my weight a week from now to see what kind of impact this new addition to my daily exercise routine. I'm also walking three miles per day and trying to get into a regular habit again with my medicine ball and plank routine.

Decisions, choices and the lifelong journey of change

People are always impressed when I tell I have lost more than 150 pounds to overcome super obesity. I'm proud of what I have accomplished. The funny thing is, though, I always feel like I'm taking credit for something that's not that big of a deal. My story really boils down to this: a decision, fueled by choices, which are mere elements of my lifelong journey of change.

Losing the weight wasn't actually as hard as you may think. It's certainly not as hard as I thought it would be before I finally made the decision to get my weight in check. Overcoming super obesity, for me, was just a series of good choices. The hard part actually was deciding to start making them in the first place.


A journey of 1,000 miles begins with (the decision to take) a single step!

I think the mistake a lot of folks make when then try to lose weight is they focus only on those choices - the day to day of what to eat and what not to eat, which activity burns more calories, who to share my successes with because they will support me and who to refrain from talking to about my weight loss because it might breed envy and jealousy, or simply make them feel bad. But what about the decision?

The decision to lose weight is the absolute most important factor in permanent weight loss. It is not a matter of what choices you make along the way, because none of us is perfect, and we will each make a series of good choices and bad ones every day of our lives. If we focus on the choices we will celebrate good ones and beat ourselves up for bad ones. When we focus on the decision, however, we are able to see our choices as a complex tapestry and we can focus on the bigger picture - why we are choosing to lose weight in the first place.

This question of "why" is at the root of the decision. The choices I make along the way - the question of "how" - will work themselves out as I remain focused on my lifelong journey of change and as I move forward, resolving those "why" questions that made my decision finally click in the first place.

What was behind my decision to lose weight? Part of the answer can be found here, on a post called My Weight Loss Motivation from January 2010. In that post I talk about the things I want to do and be and a bit of my purpose. But the real "why" is that I wanted to begin treating myself - my body and my mind - with the respect I deserve. Before I made the decision I had tried unsuccessfully to lose weight and keep it off many times before. I finally realized that these failed attempts at weight loss were the result of me focusing on my choices and not on my decision.

When I wake up every morning, the first thing I do is remind myself of why I'm on this fit life journey. In other words, I am mindful of my journey. I give it the respect it deserves so I am sure to give myself the respect I deserve. This mindfulness ensures I will make choices that fuel my decision.

It's really that simple. Even so, I do want to thank you so much for your encouragement, and please continue to be thoroughly impressed by the fact that I have lost more than 150 pounds. But please, also, save some of that enthusiasm for later, when I have reached my weight loss goal of overcoming obesity once and for all.

PS - As of today, I have lost 10 pounds in the past two weeks. Current weight - 276. I have 21 pounds to lose to reach my low weight mark from June of last year (2011) and a total of 49 pounds to go until I am no longer considered obese. Thanks so much for reading and sharing my story with others on your social networks, Your participation inspires me! MyFitLife2Day is on Facebook. And please, follow me on Twitter @MyFitLife2Day.

Mindful eating, swimming and hiking in Palm Springs

I recently re-located to Palm Springs, CA, from Albuquerque, NM, in large part to jump-start my fit-life journey, which had become a bit stalled. I mean, I've been getting lots of exercise, so that's good. But I've been lax in my food mindfulness and my weight has gone up a bit since my low of 255 pounds last year. In fact, recently I weighed in at nearly 285. I quickly pulled in the reigns on my eating habits and am once again below 280. But I need to be more pro-active, and that's what I'm doing here in the low desert at the base of the San Jacinto Mountains.

Sitting on top of the world - San Jacinto Peak at 10,388 ft.

Obviously I love hiking. Yesterday I went on an 11-mile out-and-back hike from the upper tram terminal here in Palm Springs to the peak of San Jacinto. It was a wonderful excursion, and my body is thanking me for such a strenuous workout. But I need to do more than just hiking if I want to reach my goal of losing more than 60 pounds over the next 6 months. Once I hit that goal, I will have lost the 200 pounds I set out to lose when I first began this blog under the name The Fitness 400 Project in 2008.

So this means big changes to my routine. I'm back on a restricted calorie diet of no more than 2,000 calories (except on big hiking days when my body needs the calories for mere survival). And I'm also back to doing my medicine ball workouts and plank exercises daily. On top of this, just today I have added freestyle swimming to the mix. I did five laps (125 meters) in the pool in the community where I live. I will do another five laps tonight. For this week, I will continue to do 125 meters both in the morning and evening until I'm ready to increase the amount to seven or eight next week and then 10 within two week's time.

How can I NOT take up swimming with this practically in my back yard?

The hard part of swimming for me is that my lungs are not used to the staggered breathing required when freestyle swimming. This morning I had to rest and catch my breath after each lap. I wasn't bothered by this, but my goal is to improve so I can do all of my laps without resting between them.

Well, that's about it for now. I will post my new diet soon, so stay tuned for that. And don't forget to check out my other blogs - Man of Merit and HikeyHikey! - for more on hiking and other outdoors fitness activities. Fifteen pictures from the San Jacinto Peak hike can be found here.

Optimism, faith and mindfulness - my journey to the La Luz Trail

I began my fit life journey with the launch of this blog back in December 2008 (follow this link to read my first post). It's been trip full of ups and downs, highs and lows. But it's always been a journey moving forward. Even when I'm knocked down, I get back up and learn from the experience. I rely on optimism, faith and mindfulness of purpose to keep on going, even when I stumble hard.

The first year of my journey was a kind of half-ass attempt; I lacked a specific, measurable goal. But in January of 2010 I set a very specific goal - to lose 200 pounds, to nearly halve my body weight, from 420 to 220, and overcome obesity by my 40th birthday. The plan was to celebrate my success by coming out to Albuquerque on my birthday last year and hike the famous La Luz Trail - nearly 10 miles with an elevation gain of 3,775 ft (1,151 m) and a grade of 12%. It would have been an amazing a capstone to my blog, I thought.

The La Luz Trail from the upper tram terminal. From the lower terminal, it's
about 10 miles to this point. This pic was taken on a recent 10-mile hike
of the 10K and Crest Trails - read about it on my Man of Merit blog.

Well, life has a funny way of altering plans. Once I reached 255 pounds, with just 35 pounds to go, I decided I needed to take a break from the strict diet of 1,800 calories a day I had been on for nearly a year and a half. I would continue to exercise, but I wanted to give myself a break, eat like a "normal" person and let my body adjust. It was a great idea, one that I don't regret in the slightest.

But over the course of the past year since I transitioned from "weight loss" to "weight maintenance", my body has adjusted to a comfortable weight 25 pounds heavier than my low weight. I'm now close to 280 again, and as I've blogged recently, I'm trying to re-gain focus and begin losing weight again in pursuit of my ultimate goal. 

Now I am at a point where big changes must be made again. As a result, I've decided that I'm going to take a big leap and attempt hiking the La Luz Trail now, in celebration of my 41st birthday. I know I'm fit enough to take on the challenge, even though I'm nearly 60 pounds heavier than I wanted to be when hiking it. So I figure, why wait until reaching my goal? Why not use it as inspiration to push forward again in pursuit of it?

I'll be taking the hike on Saturday, August 11, two days after I turn 41. This hike will not only mark the beginning of the next phase of my journey, it is also to be a conditioning hike for the epic 20-mile Cactus-to-Clouds hike I'll be taking sometime during the next year.

I want to thank my friend and fellow Toastmaster Leanne Yanabu for organizing this hike. This will be the toughest hike in terms of elevation gain I've done, so it's nice to know that she's done it before - makes me feel more confident about tackling such a strenuous hike.

I also want to thank all of you who read my blogs and encourage me along my path. I get lots of feedback from folks who say I inspire them - but really, you all inspire me!!! So please, keep reading, keep commenting and I WILL reach my goal. Then we can all celebrate together!

One goal's knocked down, while another's set up!

From a crag on Sandia, just off the North Crest Trail

Today I accomplished a huge goal for me - completed the fifth of my five planned 10-mile hikes. These were not mere walks in the woods. With the exception of one, which was a a town to town trek through the historic towns of Lincoln and Concord, Massachusetts, these were strenuous hikes with between 1,300 and 3,000 feet of elevation gain along rugged terrain.

Those of you who know me or who have been following my blog (which started as The Fitness 400 Project a few years ago), know that I stopped trying to lose weight about a year ago to focus on physical activity. I had lost more than 165 pounds by then, eating right and doing resistance training at the gym and using a medicine ball. I dropped from about 420 to 255 pounds. And though I was at that point still obese, I decided I wanted to prove what I was capable of. I wanted to demonstrate through hard work and dedication what any moderately in-shape obese person can do if he or she challenges him or herself to get out into the world and live life to the fullest!

My body aches after these hikes. It's like carrying an 80 pound pack. And now that I've accomplished these hikes I am ready to starting focusing on weight loss again. The reason is simple. Part of my original goal with hiking, which you can read about on my blog Man of Merit, was to plan and carry out these five 10-mile hikes followed by a long-distance 20-mile hike, to be carried out in a single day (no camping between two 10-milers).

After today's hike, I've determined that my body is just not ready for a 20-mile hike, unless I were to cheat a bit and do a walk on a totally flat surface perhaps. But instead I'm choosing to challenge myself once more to a 20-mile mountain hike. And this means I need to lose a considerable amount of weight first to ensure I don't injure myself in the process.

This is not going to be an easy task. I've become quite content at my current weight. I look good, and I feel good - especially when compared to how I felt living in a super obese body, not even being able to bend down to pick up something off the floor or walk without waddling. But I know that I'm capable of much more. And I'm going to prove that to myself, starting right now.

This means cutting out the splurges I've become accustomed to over the past year. I still eat very well, but I have to admit I've been enjoying ice cream from time to time, and this has definitely got to stop if I'm going to make strides with weight loss again. So that's my new commitment. No more late night snacks. I will also ramp up my exercise routine.

Since moving to Albuquerque in January I've been going to the gym and hiking, obviously, but I've not been using medicine ball and doing plank on a regular basis like I did in the past. Starting back at these core exercises three days a week I know will make a positive impact on my weight loss in no time.

So there you have it. I'm back at it, and I'm putting it in writing here so I know I will have accountability for this commitment. My goal is to lose 40 pounds by the end of December. And a short term goal is to lose 20 pounds by October 1.

I really appreciate those of you who read me and keep me on track with my goals. And as always, I'm open to your comments and suggestions along the way!