Grief may not be a choice, but bouncing back from it is!

Last year, I posted something about wanting to lose weight so I could "be healthy and capable for my parents as they grow older". The week after I wrote those words, my mother's four-year-long battle with cancer would take its terminal turn; She was diagnosed with a brain lesion, and a single radiation treatment would speed up her demise to take her from us much too suddenly; in less than two months she was gone.

Rock-hopping Strickler Knob (Even at 350 pounds, I'm still hiking!)

Her sickness led to a deep sadness I was unable to shake. In my grief, I stopped doing anything that gave me pleasure. I stopped hiking altogether, and hiking at that point was the only remaining vestige of my fitlife days, the days of clean eating, medball workouts and 6-day-a-week gym visits that led to my 165-pound weight loss only a few years prior.

My mother's death did threw me for a loop. My mantra of decisions controlling my destiny, not my conditions, went out the window. My choices were once again not only influenced but dictated by my emotions. I had completely reverted to the hopelessness I'd lived in for nearly a decade in the wake of my experience during 9/11.

I'm back to hiking - having gone on my first hike a few days after my mother passed away. It's been seven months and I've done more than 30 hikes, averaging around three per month. This summer I plan to up the days hiking, and I also plan on bringing back my medball and planking routine. The gym is not a priority now, although it's only because I haven't found a gym that suits me in the small town to which I've recently relocated.

For those of you who still subscribe to my blog even though I'm not the living inspiration I may have been to you when you first found me, during my "amazing transformation", I thank you. This is, after all, a journey. I've said that from the beginning, and so I'll say it again. Every day I wake up the decisions I make point me toward my future. And I continue to hold myself accountable.

My weight gain, which had been out of control throughout this winter, has been stabilized. Now is the time to begin to move in more intentional ways that will once again excite my metabolism and fuel my body in ways that promote that movement. I know muscle memory will kick in once I get started, but that's where I am now - setting a goal, making a decision, and acting on it.

I'll keep you posted...more to come.

10 Things I Don’t Miss About Being Super Obese

This blog post is not pretty. In fact, it’s pretty blunt. As a disclaimer, you may not want to continue reading if you can’t handle the truth. I’m writing this primarily for me – to remember - because “those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” But I’m also writing it for anyone out there right now, reading this, who may be struggling with super obesity, so you can know that you CAN do it. You CAN overcome super obesity and live the life you deserve!

So without further ado, here they are: The 10 Things I Don’t Miss About Being Super Obese:

Before "Life Guy Brian", at 420 lbs

1. Skin tags on my neck and underarms 
2. Having a successful job interview on the phone turn into a nightmare when interviewed face-to-face 
3. Not being able to walk more than a quarter mile without having to sit down 
4. Being afraid to fly because I barely fit, needed a seat belt extension and was concerned I was squishing other passengers
5. Having to use baby wipes instead of toilet paper 
6. Having to use special tools and maneuvers in the shower to ensure my cleanliness 
7. Not being able to pick things up off the floor and feeling compelled to ask people to get things for me because the effort to do even little tasks was taxing 
8. Spending most of my spending money on cheap, fatty foods and sugary beverages 
9. Having to shop for clothes in specialty stores; Not being able to shop for bargains or at thrift stores 
10. Being sought after by “chubby chasers” instead of being pursued by someone who loves me for me

I could go on, but this is all the remembering I can handle right now. It’s tough looking back! But what’s tougher is thinking about all the people out there right now still in it, facing the same struggles I once did. I want to reach out to each and every one of you, give you a big hug and tell you that it can get better. You can lose weight and start living a healthy life.

In the words of the incredible, inspirational Tony Robbins, “It’s your decisions, not the conditions of your life that determine your destiny.” Think of it this way: The list above is nothing but conditions. But it was my decisions – to begin eating clean and getting progressively intensive regular exercise – that ultimately changed my life and led me to lose 165 pounds.

If that sounds simplistic, it’s because it really is that simple.

Contact me in the comment section below if you'd like to talk, or follow me, Life Guy Brian, on Twitter @MyFitLife2Day for daily motivation and inspiration. I look forward to hearing from you!

Dream big but decide bigger!

Here's the funny thing I've noticed about goals since beginning my fitlife journey nearly four years ago: Only before you decide to pursue goals do they feel insurmountable.

It's like when I decided to start hiking and set a goal to climb Sandia - a mountain rising more than 5,000 feet above the City of Albuquerque, nestled the Rio Grande Valley. It may sound dismissive of the accomplishment, but to be honest, by simply making the decision to climb that mountain, the mountain became smaller in my mind.

It is the same with weight loss. Three years ago before I decided to lose weight, I figured losing even 100 pounds without medical intervention would be out of the question - and at more than twice my normal body weight I needed to lose 200. Absurd! Ridiculous! No Way!

But there I was, in the silence of my heart, filtering out all critics, including my own ever-present internal critic, making a decision to go for it. Almost immediately, once the decision had been made, there was no doubt in my mind. I was going to overcome obesity and more than halve my body weight come hell or high water!

When I met my partner Khizer two years ago, he spoke of running a marathon one day. By keeping his dreams in the "one day" category he was safely on this side of setting a goal. Running a marathon for someone who has only once in his memory run something like ten miles might seem impossible. It is this feeling of being made a fool by countering the impossibility and failing that prevents many from making decisions that could change their lives forever. But earlier this year Khizer made the decision to run in Albuquerque's Duke City Marathon, and suddenly the finish line to him seemed much closer to him than it had before. He's now training and has completed several long runs. He ran 20 miles on Saturday and told me of his training, "This really isn't as hard as I thought it would be." I'll be there as he accomplishes this seemingly insurmountable goal October 20. His dream, because of his decision to run, is about to become reality.

The moral of this story is this: Once you make a decision, your choices will fuel that decision. As inspirational speaker Tony Robbins says, "It is your decisions, and not the conditions of your life, that determine your destiny." It's so true! No matter your conditions or how far off your heart's desire may seem from where you are right now, you must believe that you are as close as your ability to make that decision to go for it allows you to be.

In other words, dream big. But when you're ready to make your move, decide bigger!

@MyFitLife2Day Goes Boldly into the Twitterverse

The past couple weeks I haven't been blogging as much as I like to. Instead, I've been focusing on micro blogging, having just recently discovered the joy of Twitter!

I'm mostly Tweeting with the following hash tags: #fitspo, #fitness, #inspiration, #overcomingobesity, #healthydecisions, and #itsyourdecisions. And in just 19 days I've amassed more than 500 followers - many of whom re-Tweet my original quotes.

Two of my most famous mentions were from two men that I admire and attempt to model as I build my career in online publishing and as a fit-life promoter.

The first was a re-Tweet by life coach, author and motivational speaker Anthony Robbins.

Tony Robbins re-Tweets @myfitlife2day to more than two million followers

The second was a mention by celebrity blogger and fit-life promoter Perez Hilton in reply to a mention I made of him. With nearly 5 million followers, this guy is truly a Twitter rock star!

Fit-life inspiration Perez Hilton gives @myfitlife2day a shout out!